2002-12-05 18:41:06 (UTC)

so, goodbye...

so i attempted to get a new journal...

but here i am. hard to let go of something that has come
to mean so much to me. even though i realize how insane
that must be. at least i care about something, right?

the whole reason beind me wanting to leave this one is
complex. its not that i have anything to hide. its just.
there are things that some people shouldnt have to read.
even if they know theyre true. and even if they want to.
you know what i mean.
its just like throwing it in their face and that makes me
feel uncomforatble and icky.
i need to be able to express myself. because if not. i
know i wont be able to be okay. and i feel like i
constantly have to read over what i say in here making
sure that no one could take it the wrong way. i think i
delete more than a third of i do not want to offend people
that dont need to think im offending them. not right now

so, if my entries are spaced. and maybe if they stop
altogether. you will all know why.

maybe i just need to keep some shit for me right now.
maybe i dont want everyone that reads this to know what im
going through or thinking. maybe for once i want to keep
my mouth shut about things. because voicing them will
cause nothing but worsing the situtions at hand.


goodbye. until i become weak and come back again.