Guava

kiss me, kill me, hold me, thrill me
2002-12-05 06:46:25 (UTC)

I feel like shit

The test did not go too well. If I am lucky I'll get a C
on it. I called Dave after class like he made me promise
to. I think he already went to bed and didn't hear the
phone. He is still connected to the net, but is away from
his comp which supports that idea.

I'll have to wait till tomorrow to talk to him. I am
really depressed tonight. I can't shake the feeling. And
not getting to talk to Dave when he told me to just made
things a little worse. He said he would be up at 9
tonight. It was shortly after 8 that I called him. I
think it is 3 hours difference from here to Kentucky so it
would have been just after 11 over there. I would think
he could stay up that late.

I don't know. I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill
again. I just know I am. Hopefully Dave will call me
tomorrow night. I am guessing we will simply talk online.

He mentioned missed getting to hear my voice. He gets to
hear mine on his voice mail. I might not get to hear his
voice unless he calls me back. At least not for quite a
while. It would be nice if we talked on the phone more
often. He has a wonderful voice.

I still feel like crap. I have a feeling I will be like
this for a while.

On my way to class I prayed. I don't know if it did any
good. God knows I'm still mad at him for taking my Great
Aunt away. I just broke down tonight and figured it was
worth a try. I figure I'm a seed that God comes by to
water now and then just to keep me alive. He must get
some sort of pleasure out of keeping me around. I just
don't know why yet.

I'm sure he heard me and listened, but probably did not
help me. He knows how mad I am at him still. I don't
understand why on earth he took my Great Aunt from me

I'll get off my soap box about that though. It haunts me
and won't let go.