2001-08-26 05:56:20 (UTC)

my second entry for today

well i have thought things over and i think ill manage but
in the meantime i cant open up to peeps and tell them my
problems and i dunno y and i need to do that so i can get
their advice on stuff and know what to do cuz sooner or
later if i dont open up i am gonna explode and i cant do
that cuz i think to maney peeps care about me so i cant
explode on them ... Me and ashley made a pact to wear if
either of us thinks about hurting oursleves we have to call
each other first so if i ever think bout killing myself i
ave to call her first and if she thinks bout that then she
has to call me first and i think thats good but i dunno
about my life its just like one big mess if u know what i
mean by mess i need someone i can say nething to and them
not think stuff about me and thats y i thnk i cant open up
to peeps is becuz i am afraid of what they will think but i
dunno and i need someone i can trust so they wont go and
tell other peeps mmy problems cuz thats all i need ...
i wonder what all my friends ad family would do if i ever
kill myself??? i dont think they would be happy ,me and my
mom barely ever get along . me and my stepdad dont get
along that well either i dunno y i dont get along with my
mom cuz sometimes i hate her but i still love her and i say
i wish i had another mom but i dunno what i would do
without my mom .... i just wonder how peeps would feel???