Amanda and Shelley

Day Light Confusion
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2001-08-26 05:22:39 (UTC)

im so tired, im so tired of trying......

Dear this sweet essence we call life,

Hello.... well today was not my exact day of
calling great. I wish I could just have what I want
sometimes.... but then again we cant always have what we
want. That sounded really selfish, but I mean I'm not here
on this earth, or in this world to waste my time. I mean
every one wants to have love in there life, but how do u
know if the love u choose or have is the right one, I'm not
even sure if what I feel for J'son is just lust. I want it
to be love, but sometimes I feel like my soulmate is right
in front of me, or if not in front of me then I'm going to
meet him soon.

I just want to find the right one, I am young, and i still
have a whole lot of time ahead of, but I dont want to make
the wrong choice and end up with someone who really wasnt
what I want or I could of had. I feel pretty stupid cus
sometimes I know what I want and I had it, and I let it get
away.

Well I'm not so sure on how me and J'son are supposed to
work out ne thing id he wont even talk to me. I have no
clue what I did, and I hate feeling like I did something
wrong and I cant even say something to back myself up. I
wish he would talk to me, I dont know what I'm gonna do if
I dont have in my life. No one knows what its like to have
someone and trust them with all ur heart and them have all
that trust mean nothing to them. I really dont know if
anyone will ever understand me.

To tell u the truth I'm stuck between who I really want to
be with, I really dont have a choice on one part, and God
knows how muchi wish I did. He's great, and he's never
stopped being there for me, but he has another, and when I
say "another" I mean he has a GF. I dont know, maybe I'm
better off just staying with J'son, cus I care about him a
lot, and he has also always been there for me, I really
dont think I want ne thing to change.

Well if ne one can give me back ne feedback that would be
great..... well so sorry for being so long and....
bye buh!!!!

-love shelley


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