hunger hurts, but starving works

Demented Impulse of the Heart
2001-08-26 02:42:32 (UTC)

Great, just what I need..

So I ate a little something. My "face ache", or whatever
the hell that was, sort of went away.. And I'm listening to
the mix Brian sent me. I totally love this guy.

Ah. And we're talking, as well. Once again, I'm slapped
with the same shit.

And from somewhere in mid conversation...

Bri: have you heard of robbie fulks?
Bri: ashley? is your nose cartilege all over the screen?
Me : hehe, shaddup ;P
Bri: heh, what happened?
Me : robbie fulks? only from you...havent heard him
though..
Bri: im in love with his new cd.
Me : sorry, i was busy flipping on each member of my family
atleast 3 times in a period of 2 minutes.
Bri: you lucky girl.
Me : yeah. no wonder they don't like me. :)
Me : ..think i'd like him?
Bri: probably.
Me : hm. i shall have to check him out.
Bri: i hope you like him, if you buy something from him
Bri: otherwise i'll feel guilty.
Me : heh, well i'm sure i would..i've liked everything else
you've directed me to so far.
Bri: thats like the ultimate compliment.
Me : hehe. well it's true. i'm listening to your mix now,
actually. :)
Bri: i really need to send your new one out. but i keep
listening to it. heh.
Me : hehe, take your time, enjoy yourself. ;P
Bri: i wish.
Bri: i wish a lot of things.
Bri: why do you hide so much on aol?
Me : hm? [Me playing dumb, like an arsehole.]
Bri: well oftentimes, i'll e-mail you or something... and
you'll respond, but you dont show up on my buddy list or
anything.
Bri: its not like you have to tell me, i was just curious.
Me : oh...well i've been using my friend's computer a lot
lately, because my access number's been screwing up a
lot...but eh, well sometimes, i am just hiding : ...
Bri: ok. i feel bad for asking. like its none of my
business. but, yeah.
Bri: i just like talking to you.
Bri: but i'm sure you figured that out by now
Me : don't feel bad..i just suck. a lot. and we can end
with that, i guess.
Bri: id rather not, but whatever you wish.
Me : well..just to say. i like you. much. :
Bri: i actually wish i didnt like you so much.
Me : hm..is there a reason why? (heh, this sounds too
familiar, sadly..)
Bri: because you live in fucking new jersey. because
you're only 13. well almost 14. and even though that
doesnt matter, it kinda does.
Me : yeah, very familiar...and i guess that's really all
that matters..
Bri: just the new jersey thing. if you lived close to me
id so love to spend time with you.
Me : so would i..
Bri: and i mean i like talking to you now... i just figured
i should let you know that it's a little more than that
Bri: as much as i hate to put that "on" you
Me : well, it's not putting anything.."on" me..
Bri: i just feel bad. i didnt know how'd you feel / react
Bri: plus i know you actually have a life, as opposed to me.
Me : did you expect anything inparticular?....*shrug* i'm
just bad at "reacting" to things in general...
Me : life? me? hah. silly boy.
Bri: i was kinda thinking youd feel... i dont know. scared.
Bri: big bad brian, you know.
Me : big bad brian, eh? heh...
Bri: sorry for all of this. im just glad to get it out of
the way.
Bri: you need to move to iowa ;)
Me : i'll consider it ;P

This is too effing weird...

Last night I drove to go nowhere at all
And came to the saddest thing I ever saw
A pretty girl lost, trapped up in an ugly car
Driving through a shady crowd of criminals

And I love this song like you would not believe.

Okay, so back to the original intent of this...
The "little party" that my mom had planned for my birthday
somehow turned into a full-blown bash. I was dreaming
about it a few hours ago; there were little kids. Lots of
little kids. I couldn't figure out why. And then, when I
awoke, my mom informed me that my aunt and uncle might
come, along with thier neice and neffew. Well that
explains it. How weird. *Sigh* This is not going to be
fun. At all.

I hate LiveJournal. I don't know how they even got me to
use it...It never fecking works. I'm currently trying to
read the entry that Brian put some of that conversation
in...And I can't, of course. Eck.


When you're lonely, she makes you feel nice.
I miss Lee.


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