Amanda

Purple Coffee, Blue Monkies
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2001-08-26 02:11:52 (UTC)

Love

All I ever wanted in life was to be loved. My family life
totally sucked. I just needed a release...you know? Someone
to lean on, someone that understood me. I think I found that
person. As i'm sitting here, on the fone with him, with him
singing Rage Against the Machine to me, i'm just like wow,
i'm so lucky. Just the little things he does, like rubbing
my back instead of trying to unsnap my bra.

One of my friends just asked me a question. He was like "do
you live like there's no tomorrow?" I told him that I did
whenever I could. I try to be as spontaneous as possible. I
freak Patrick out sometimes because I just lean over and
give him a kiss and he's like "huh?" Hehe, or i'll just call
him and be like "I love you."

See, he just knows...he just told me that he needs me. God,
he knows just how to like make me fall in love with him.
Aww, he sings good too. I love him so much. He always makes
me so happy. I'm slowly but surely falling in love with him
I believe. He's singing the hamster song and it makes me
wanna go and just hug him and love him forever. I don't
think he realizes how much he means to me. I need him more
than he needs me. Definately. He's like everything I want in
a guy. Not saying he's perfect, but neither am I. No one's
perfect.

He's probably gonna read this and get all big headed on me,
hehehe. He keeps saying that hes gonna fuck up and i'm not
gonna wanna go out with him anymore. He doesn't understand
how much of a bond I have with him. I feel so close to him.
I've never felt this way before. Where like at times he's
more of a friend to me, and then other times he's a lover.
Even Simone approves of him, it's amazing. So is Patrick.

I love it cuz I can mess around with him. I can just be
myself cuz he's skaterish. I can be as freaky as I want to,
and he'll only love me more. We've both gone through so
much. I need him. I can't express how much I love him. He
means so much to me. I love him! I need him! If he ever
leaves me I don't know what i'd do. Probably die. He'll
never understand...

So now i'm gonna leave u and go off and talk to Patrick. =)
He makes me so happy. If I ever die, thank Patrick for
making me so happy while I was still alive...

"And now you've got me thinking bout the first time that I
meant you. Standing in a crowded room where I could only see
you. And I my words will get thru, cuz now I can't forget
you..."


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