Blue Castle reverie

My Saga
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2001-08-25 18:22:49 (UTC)


I've had diaries before. Actually, I have sporatically
kept them in some form or another since I was six years
old. However, my entries have become more and more
neglected. Since I spend so much time on-line, between
school work and talking to my friends, maybe I'll keep up
with it a little better this way.
As a matter of introduction, I have just completed my first
two weeks as a SENIOR!!! I still find myself looking
around for all the people that graduated last year. It
doesn't feel right. I'm not ready to grow up. I have to
start applying to colleges, but what's the point, because I
have no idea what I want to do. I have the grades, the SAT
scores and the extracurriculars to get me into most
colleges, but what's the point of spending all that time
and money for nothing? Maybe I'll figure something out
within the next two months... I guess part of my problem
is that I don't have that one thing that I excell at.
Maybe if I had one thing that I was good at, and loved to
do, I could decide on something. But instead of having my
talents concentrated in one area, I'm a little bit good at
everything, but great at nothing. I was a decent
basketball player, a passable gymnast, a fairly good writer,
a pretty good scientist, a fair artist, a tolerable singer,
an ok actress... get the picture? I have my talents so
spread out that there is never enough to be great in one
area. And I guess that is the one thing that I really
want: to find an area at which I am truly good.