Luchi

Welcome to own demise
2002-12-04 01:10:35 (UTC)

it's alright now

i hate snow. truly i do. nothing more miserable than the
thought of being stuck in a place with tons of people you
dont know and or dont like for hours bc of damned snow. i
woke up this mornin, came out of my cave, looked outside
adn wanted nothign more than to go back to bed and sleep
forever and ever. it realy gets me upset thinkin bout snow.
you never know how long it'll snow for, or how hard itll
snow or how much itll snow. ya know?

st. ben's homecoming is this weekend, and as much as i want
to go, i dont... weird? i mean i want to see a couple
people. but for the couple people i want to see,,, theres
people i dont want to see... and i dont knwo if i want to
give myself any headaches that could easily be avoided.
I do want to see albert, and i want him to see me all
dressed up. hes never seen me dressed up b4.. and theres
really no reason he ever would.... so yea i wanted to see
him afterwards.. but of course id be with rebecca, and that
girl could wear a paper bag and look gorgeous... and since
albert really wants to fuck around with her, seeing her all
dolled up will just push that urge more. although i know
nothng would come of it... i knwo rebecca wouldnt do that
to me.
i was on the phone with her last night, and we had a really
nice conversation. we were talking about this girl who has
a holyer than thou attitude and rebecca said well tis
always easy for people to see their own flaws in other
people. i totally agree. i know my flaws. i know them soo
well, that i can see them in other people, so i knwo what
its like.

so i keep thinking about a lot of things lately, especially
things involving albert. as of this saturday i will ahve
known him for a year.. sad that i know that huh? eh. but
anyway, lately ive been catching myself thinking about
things hes said to me, and i have this one particular
moment stuck in my head... we were in my bed, talking about
he was singing a song which i really didnt like to much,
andi told him i hate that song so stop singing it, and he
said soemthing to the effect of, i like that song, it
reminds me of u, im like what r u talking about hes like u
listen to the lyrics? theni realized i never did. so i just
look them up.

"Hey, don't write yourself off yet,
It's only in your head you feel left out
or looked down on.
Just try your best,
Try everything you can.
And don't you worry what they tell themselves
When you're away.

It just takes some time
Little girl, you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything, everything will be just fine,
Everything, everything will be alright, alright.

Hey, you know they're all the same.
Ya know you're doing better on your own,
so don't buy in.
Live right now.
Yeah, just be yourself.
It doesn't matter if it's good enough
For someone else.

It just takes some time
Little girl, you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything, everything will be just fine,
Everything, everything will be alright, alright.

It just takes some time
Little girl, you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything, everything will be just fine,
Everything, everything will be alright, alright.

Hey, don't write yourself off yet,
It's only in your head you feel left out
or looked down on.
Just do your best,
Do everything you can.
And don't you worry what their bitter hearts,
Are gonna say.

It just takes some time,
Little girl, you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything, everything will be just fine,
Everything, everything will be alright,alright."

its no wonder i do love him, he knows me so well... i know
him,,, not nearly as well as i could, but as much as he
wants me to. but at the same time... im over him. i mean if
he were to come to me... a few weeks, months, years even
from now wanting me to be his lady... id totally be
like "omg yes" but im not going ot push for it anymore.,
we're friends wholl fuck aroudn with each other every now
tand then,,,,, and ya knwo what... thats cool with me, as
long as we're friends ya know...
i have very few friends these days... i cant afford to lose
the ones i have... they're the only links left on the chain
of my sanity.