Someone

My problems.
2002-12-03 23:46:12 (UTC)

7 peoms I wrote in two hours

I'm sick, twisted, screwed in the head
Just want to die in my bead
What else can I do instead
God knows I'll never be wed
I'm ugly, stupid, someone no one needs
I wish sometimes that I were a seed
Then I could grow and be free
But instead I'm on my knees
Beging God please
Don't do this to me
Make me happy for once in my life
Just once will suffice
Then I could die
And no one would cry
Only say goodbye
To this sick and twisted life of mine
12/03/02 --- 12:02PM
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So many thoughts circlin' round my head
I sometimes wonder why I'm not on meds
Suicidal thoughts seep through my brain
The only way to destroy the pain
Not easy to be obtained
Maybe that's why I'm going insane
I need psychological help
Before I hurt myself
The pain is growing and growing
And the rage is flowing and flowing
It moves from my brain, to my veins and into my heart
Would ending my life be that smart?
There is only one vaccine
To end all this misery
I only need happiness
To help me get through all this.
12/03/02 1:50PM
---

Awaiting to hear her voice
Is my only choice
I guess I could wait
Leaving it all up to fate
But theres no way to escape
This dreadful place
Just being able to see her face
Would instantly make my heart race
To feel her soft, warm, loving touch
Could help me out so much
Being able to gaze into her eyes
Can stop all of my crys
The tought of her arms wrapped around me
Should help me to see
Exactly how great life can be
If I didn't throw her out to sea
It's a shame I threw her out of my life
She may have been my wife
I think about her everyday
But I guess that's the price I'll pay
For treating her that way.
12/03/02 2:05PM
---

The only way that I can be saved
Is resting in peace in my very own grave
So much pain runs through my veins
Everyday I feel the exact same
Miserable, to say the least
Because I see myself as an ugly beast
Way, way to shy
But I'm that kind of guy
I don't know how to act
Sometimes I get slapped
For saying something dumb,
Nope, not all that fun
I have a confession
I'm afraid of rejection
Couldn't handle it
Have a fit
Do some crazy shit
Hurt myself
Instead of someone else
Afraid of rejction
That's my obsession
12/03/02 2:14PM
---

I...

I can' take your pain away
I don't always know what to say
I can listen to you complain
I can watch you go insane
I can feel the hate in your voice
I can't make up your choice
I can hold you in my arms
I can watch you shocked and alarmed
I can help you with your problems
I can even try to solve em'
I will be there in your time of need
I will be tehre even when you say you hate me
I will be here for all time
I'll be waiting for your time to shine
12/03/02 2:20PM
---

I don't know what to write
my heart is filled w/ smite
One of these days I'm going to bite
And have this huge fight
In the hours of the night
I just might
At my mear sight
Turn on the light
It could be right
To just kill myself tonight

Would anyone care
That I left my nightmare
I took the dare
Now I have a blank stare
My life just wasn't fair
Wanted my head to become bare
Instead of ripping out my hair
So I took a pair
And started to tare(sp?)
The lifeless flesh
From my wrist
And granted my own wish.
12/03/02 2:34PM
---

I here to tell you the truth
What I write about suicide it's a spoof
I'd never do it, commit suicide that is
I could never go through with this
I'm to pussy
That's right, I'm a wussy
I'd never slice up my tender wrists
If I tried I'd probably miss
Never would I put a gun in my mouth
It might fall and shoot me down south
Couldn't jump off a cliff
I might trip and hurt my hip
Wouldn't down a million pills
Cause I'd only get a lil' ill'
Haha jump in front of a car?
It wouldn't move me all that far
Never strap myself to a bomb
I don't wanna be like Saddam(sp?)
With all my time I have life to spend
I'd never bring my horrible life to an end.
12/03/02 2:53PM

-Shaun




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