humming bird

my F***ed up head
2002-12-03 22:31:54 (UTC)

another

Dear Jason
yeah thats right- here we go again with this cashed scene of
me pouring my heart out into an letter that is never gonna reach the
person it is written to. you never knew ow i felt before- i tried so
hard so many times to tell you, to let you know, but you never knew-
i couldnt put it into words- all i could do was feel it. i talked
toyou, on your birthday and there was a part of me that was just like
wow- that was it, part of me didnt fall for u like i did before- but
aprt of me did. yes i do miss you, yess i still think about you and
about all the memories that we have- there not as strong as they use
to be, some of them have faded and some have disappeared, and some
are still there but i just dont thin about them till soemone or
soemthing brings it back to life. i smell your cologne and in an
instant i am brought back to every morning that i would get in your
car and be overwhelmed with it and it was so comforting. being in
your house was like my home- xmas eve by the fire with you... there
are so manyt hings.... i wish that i could see you- i wish that we
could start over and get to know eachother all over again, to make
sure that we dont make the same mistakes tat we did becuz we could be
perfect together- i know its been so long and i know i shouldnt think
baout it anymore but i cant help it- iw as in love with you and part
of me always will be. i hate this time of year, its killing me inside
but no one knows , i say a few lil things every once and a while but
no one knows how much pain its causing me everytime i look out the
window and see snow on the ground and know what time of year it is-
this time last year me and you had just started dating- my brithday
is in a week- my brithday was the first time we kissed and i remember
every second of it- you showed up at my hosue with a rose- we spent
the day together and when i went home i gave u a kiss on the cheek
and u kissed me - best kiss of my life- best birthday present of my
life- december 15th is not gonna be a fun day either- thas when we
started going out- xmas vaca is gonna suck becuz ispent all of it
with u last year and xmas eve is gonna suck becuz i spent it with u -
new years eve is gonna suck becuz i spent it with you- you took over
so many days becuz of last year - you took them away from me, you
took alot from me tho. i gave you everything i could- i would have
given you absolutely anything u asked for. i miss everything about us-
even the fights, me crying , you holding me when i was upset- but
you gave too- you apologized so many times - you knew when u did
wrong- why didnt we work- i want to try withu again- i want a bf tho
and its only becuz of the fact that it is this time f the eyar- i
just cant even think anymoer i gotta go- bye




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