vlnmuse

Looking for a star...
2002-12-03 04:42:56 (UTC)

What a mess...

so, I haven't written in a while..I've been having lots
of fun..pulling stunts as my uncle said...the weekend
before Thanksgiving I ventured to Ann Arbor, Detroit and
Windsor with James, Bethany, and Margret... it was so
much fun...Friday night in Ann Arbor..I danced the night
away with one guy..a few guys cut in..so that was cool...I
danced from 8pm to 5:43 am I danced till the end..we set
a record for how long the dance went...then we went back
to Keith's house and slept for 2 hours and then we had to
be at a dance workshop by 9, which went till 3:30...we
then returned to Keith's..I tried to sleep for 3
hours..didn't actually sleep though..then we headed to
Detroit... and we danced from 8 till 1am... danced more
with a cute guy with curly black hair from Ann
Arbor...then we headed to Windsor...we ate at a Chinese
resturant at 3 in the morning...then headed to Ed's house
for the late night...everyone was exhausted..everyone
watched Shrek and then people started dancing in the
kitchen, they moved the table...I got a wonderful massage
from Ed for half an hour and then the curly headed guy
asked me to dance..so we danced to the solo guitar in the
middle of the dark kitchen for at least half and hour...
and then I forget how...but this guy who I met in Ann
Arbor..John...I guess cut in... and he massaged my back
while we danced..and then it ended up turning into a 4
hour massage, so to speak...not exactly...but I was
exhausted, and I apparently fell asleep on his shoulder...
so ever since then we spend 3 or 4 hours each night
talking...I'm not sure what his intensions are yet..I
think they are honorable..however he is 26 or 27...he is
going to come down here on the 13th...cause there is a
swing dance near where I live..so we are going to meet
up...I guess...my parents would kill me if they knew about
this...and then today I recieved an email from the guy who
kissed me... and he gave me his phone number again..and he
said that it would be better for him to call me
though..he's nice...but I don't know about any of these
situations..Thanksgiving was interesting cause my family
always asks about boys in my life..and I just had to
pretend there was no one, cause these guys that stuff
happened with that weekend were 29, 27 or 26, 24, and
20...so, not exactly my age..I guess the 20 yr old would
be considered my age, kind of...oh yeah, there was this
other guy..well several others..but on was hot...and he
kept hitting on me...and we danced a lot...and he kept
telling me that I'm beautiful and that he loves to watch
me spin cause I'm like a top... but he kept pulling me in
really really close... I guess that wa no different thatn
any other situation this weekend though... dancing is so
much fun..and it is so addicting...I think I am officially
over Collin, I guess I have to be... no, I AM officially
over Collin....the situation with John was going good, and
now that he's going to come down here I'm afraid..like
he'll get here and then he will realize he doesn't like me
or I will realize I don't like him...I hate having so
many "guy" friends..and yet I haave still never had a boy
friend...my friends call me a guy magnet...I just don't
attract the right guys...whatever that means... I guess
it's good that i get to become friends with many guys,
however, it is still depressing cause I still am
technically alone...why do I write all of this dumb
stuff...I am sick of school, however, after a
conversation with John last night...I feel motivated
again to practice...I just needed to be reminded of why I
do what I do..instead of always thinking about the
pressure and expectations..I'm tired...I ihs family and
friends ddi not have expectations for others..I mean
expectations can be benificial, however..too many..cause
stress, and a lack of desire to do what one has always
loved to do...I might go o Detroit/Canada for the new
year...I'll see john if I go..however...I may not have a
way to get there, unless my parents let me drive..and for
the 13th I have to figure out if my parents will let me
have a late night at outr house..but I have this terrible
fear that I will be sitting in John's lap, recieving a
massage..and I might even fall asleep..and then my dad
would come down to the basement..my dad would have to
shoot me...(not literally) I played in a wedding last
Sat..it was lovely..the bridesmaids all wore black dresses
and the brides dress was beautiful...ok, I am going to be
dfor sure now..even though John told me that he would look
for me online when he gets home...but that won't be till
after midnight...




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