Matt (amongst other things)
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2002-12-03 04:07:01 (UTC)

Interesting Convo with Stan

Just an interesting convo between me and Stanley. Names
have been X-ed to protect the satisfied :P

s t a n a d o x: hello

IlovetheVM: hey

IlovetheVM: what's up?

s t a n a d o x: a 14 yr-old's trying to seduce me.. the
same the same

IlovetheVM: ??

s t a n a d o x: nothing... a 14 yerar old's tryign to get
me to fuck him

s t a n a d o x: I'm politely saying no

IlovetheVM: hmm

s t a n a d o x: I wish I had your luck

IlovetheVM: oh, HIM? phooey

IlovetheVM: it ain't luck

IlovetheVM: just his stupidity that keeps him coming back

s t a n a d o x: Oh.. haha

IlovetheVM: either that or his lack of ability to find
someone better looking

s t a n a d o x: well, you're getting somehtign out of it

s t a n a d o x: hmm... send him my way.. haha

s t a n a d o x: Or maybe I could be another stupid 18 year
old for you

s t a n a d o x: and you are pretty good looking

IlovetheVM: puh-lease

IlovetheVM: I'm like a 6 or 7

IlovetheVM: Miami is a bunch of 10s looking for an 11

s t a n a d o x: I'm a solid 6

s t a n a d o x: true... damn I'm not a 11 though...

s t a n a d o x: all I get are those older guys

s t a n a d o x: damn asian fetishists

s t a n a d o x: i remember this one guy who insisted on
using sesame oil...

IlovetheVM: sorry

IlovetheVM: had to work

IlovetheVM: was away for a few

IlovetheVM: u still there?

s t a n a d o x: yeah

s t a n a d o x: I was wonderign where you went.. so you
work tonight?

IlovetheVM: yup

IlovetheVM: well

IlovetheVM: only a few minutes at a time

s t a n a d o x: haah okay

s t a n a d o x: I'm going to eb watching porn with some
lesbains later

IlovetheVM: talking on the phone to a friend in Baltimore

s t a n a d o x: cool

s t a n a d o x: serious question: I'm not an attractive
person, am I?

IlovetheVM: Why do you say that?

s t a n a d o x: I don't know.. I'm pondering the reasons
for my whacked out sex-life

IlovetheVM: whacked out?

s t a n a d o x: it's a weird cycle of random tricks, older
men, and imposed elibacy at the sight of my own slutdom

IlovetheVM: imposed elibacy?

s t a n a d o x: celibacy

IlovetheVM: oic

IlovetheVM: Well

IlovetheVM: Many people are happy with many different types
of sex lives

IlovetheVM: some men have random sex in bathrooms and feel
shameful, but also there are men in commited relationships
who feel trapped

s t a n a d o x: yeah I know. I'm sick of playing all these
older men's hearts... asian fetishists who think I'll be
their faithful bottom boy

IlovetheVM: well then, don't

IlovetheVM: you need to find what is acceptable and what is
not in your sex life

s t a n a d o x: yeah i know. but that always ends up
happening.. like last thursday

IlovetheVM: and have standards

s t a n a d o x: ha the standard shave stooped low

IlovetheVM: what about last thursday?

s t a n a d o x: after thankgsgiving dinner I seduce this
older man online, give him the time of his life, made him
think he's all special. (He's an asina fetishist who uses
sesame oil) and I know I'm nto going to call him anymore

IlovetheVM: well, you don't want to have relationships like
that anymore?

IlovetheVM: do you want something different?

s t a n a d o x: yeah

s t a n a d o x: but I just get pushed down to those levels

IlovetheVM: "levels"

s t a n a d o x: realize that I've only recently decided to
stop the celibacy thing

IlovetheVM: it's when we stratify men into levels that we
end up disappointed

s t a n a d o x: yeah, I know. I'm not putting men into
levels. I want somehow someone who can look beyond my
chinky eyes

IlovetheVM: I had a really self destructive "levels"
attitude freshman year, when I liked Xxxxx, and I thought I
never could have him

IlovetheVM: made me feel so unattractive

s t a n a d o x: yeah I know

IlovetheVM: cuz I thought he was "higher up" than me

s t a n a d o x: I always think that

IlovetheVM: there are no real levels

IlovetheVM: that is why you can see unattractive people and
hot people dating everywhere

IlovetheVM: because it's really just about one on one

IlovetheVM: we as gay men have gotten into a horrible habit
of putting men into levels and neglecting anything other
than physical characteristics

IlovetheVM: when I did that I missed out on some great guys
who I could prolly have had great relationships with

IlovetheVM: I still catch myself doing levels on the mental

s t a n a d o x: sigh.. yeah..

IlovetheVM: I sometimes shut out otherwise nice guys
because they don't come off as the brightest light in the

IlovetheVM: or because they aren't as funny or quick witted

s t a n a d o x: hm. Yeah thinking yoursel superior

IlovetheVM: It took me a long time to realize that I can't
wait for another Brian to come along

IlovetheVM: he was the perfect combination of funny,
gorgeous, smart, and warm-hearted

IlovetheVM: I realized that a person's weakness can also
mean a strength

IlovetheVM: for example

IlovetheVM: less lofty and smart as me can also mean he has
a better grip on reality and common life

IlovetheVM: less sense of humor can mean he has a better
sense of seriousness

s t a n a d o x: true

IlovetheVM: me being less good looking than Xxxxx doesn't
make me inferior; it just means that I have a different
outlook on life

s t a n a d o x: yep

IlovetheVM: in my opinion, a healthier one

s t a n a d o x: haha

IlovetheVM: he says he's healthier because he's a
vegeterian and he works out and such

IlovetheVM: but I am happy with my health

s t a n a d o x: yeah

IlovetheVM: I don't smoke like him; i don't use drugs or
drink like him

IlovetheVM: he sees his superiorities, but I also see mine

s t a n a d o x: true good

IlovetheVM: both are present, and neither one is more
important or valuable than the other

IlovetheVM: it's just that Society

IlovetheVM: "gay" society

IlovetheVM: they value Xxxxx's more than mine

IlovetheVM: but I value mine more than Xxxxx's

s t a n a d o x: in the end, it's what you value thats

IlovetheVM: gay society doesn't value my passion for music
and my huge capability to touch people with my songs

IlovetheVM: but to me it's the world

s t a n a d o x: thats' not true... I knwo a lot of gay

s t a n a d o x: who value music

IlovetheVM: I would never give it up for Xxxxx's

IlovetheVM: because they are HIS

s t a n a d o x: yeah

IlovetheVM: You have many values that should be important
to you

IlovetheVM: but you often overlook them in pursuit of the

IlovetheVM: everyone does that

s t a n a d o x: I knwo everyoen does... But looks isn't my

IlovetheVM: it ain't mine either

s t a n a d o x: it's hard to find someone with personality
enough to intrigue me and yet me interested in me

IlovetheVM: obsessing over my looks will only bring me

IlovetheVM: because in my life right now my focus has to be
other things

IlovetheVM: and my looks are never going to be as good as
a "Xxxxx's" anyway

s t a n a d o x: yeah

s t a n a d o x: hmm. truthfully, I never was attrracted to

IlovetheVM: I refuse to be one of those 10s wishing they
could be an 11

s t a n a d o x: I know I'm not a 10

IlovetheVM: me neither

IlovetheVM: but being a 6 or 7 is good too

IlovetheVM: cuz I'm a 10 at a lot of other things

s t a n a d o x: But i realize that when there's
confidence, people see it and that's when you're attractive

s t a n a d o x: yeah

IlovetheVM: because I know what I value, and I recognize
what my strengths are, and I show them

IlovetheVM: (hopefully)

IlovetheVM: when you show your strengths and enjoy what you
ARE great at, people will find themselves attracted to you,
and they may not even be able to explain why

IlovetheVM: I get that often

IlovetheVM: guys see me, and they know I shouldn't be that
attractive, but they see something in me they can't explain

s t a n a d o x: aww

s t a n a d o x: that' nice

s t a n a d o x: I know. i saw something before.

IlovetheVM: It's been called "off beat good looking"

s t a n a d o x: I used to have a thing for you

IlovetheVM: really?

s t a n a d o x: yeah

s t a n a d o x: actually quite a bit

IlovetheVM: aww, I'm sorry

s t a n a d o x: nah it's alright

s t a n a d o x: actually, I always found you quite

IlovetheVM: aww

IlovetheVM: actually at the beginning of the semester, I
was pretty low on myself physically

s t a n a d o x: oh

s t a n a d o x: well, so was i.

s t a n a d o x: I actually got rejected by two people in
the first two months alone

s t a n a d o x: and I still find you pretty hot.

IlovetheVM: eh

IlovetheVM: I guess it all depends on the point of view

s t a n a d o x: yeah

s t a n a d o x: well, anyways.. the lesbians invited me to
brign my porn to their room

IlovetheVM: lovely

s t a n a d o x: I'm going to go watch it now

s t a n a d o x: cya, stud

IlovetheVM: cya