ABeautifulDisaster

Ramblings of an Angry Squirrel
2002-12-02 23:57:28 (UTC)

Through Addictions/Broken Promises

Hello, it's me. Well, I guess it's been a while since I
wrote in here, hasn't it? Thanksgiving was interesting.
My grandparents came up, and it was nice to see them. My
brother turned 15 on Sunday, and it was kind of weird to
see how much we've both gorwn up. How much we've changed.
How much we used to be best friends and now I have this
hatred toward him most of the time.

I spoke to Andrew a lot last week. We were out all week,
and I called him every other day. Our relationship is
rolling along, smooth enough I suppose. I got a 'wake up'
call on Friday though. I called his house, and his mother
told me he had been smoking. See, Andrew's been a smoker
for a while, but he promised me he'd quit. I was kind of
upset, because I thought to myself, "How could he do this
to me?" I talked to him, and he said that he just couldn't
help it, and smoked a whole pack of cigarettes. I didn't
say much on the phone, I just closed my eyes and spoke
quietly to him. I told him that I wasn't mad at him, I
was merely disappointed. I couldn't believe that he'd
broke a promise to me. He apolgoized, and we made some
sort of compromise that he was going to slowly get off the
habit.

Most girls I know would've ditched him at that time. I
know they would have, I talked to one of my friends about
it. She asked me why I didn't dump him, and I thought
about it a moment. The only things I found when I searched
my heart for a reason, was that I love him. I love this
person so much that I realize that he has faults. I know
they're there, and I'm willing to...not exactly accept, but
help him through it. I can't imagine myself without him,
and I don't even want to know what he'd turn to if I did
leave him. He needs me in his life right nwo, and I need
him to be there for me as well.

I told him this last night, and he smiled. He told me he
can't believe I love him so much. I told him through
addictions and broken promises I would stand by his side.
He said that this is the only promise he'd break, and he
felt awful for breaking it. I don't even want to think
about it anymore, he's too wonderful to lose over such a
small thing.

Friday he'll be coming home with me. I'm very excited, and
quite a bit nervous This will be the first time he's met
my family, and I can tell he's nervous as well. He wants
to take me to see Solaris, and that should be fun.
Like...a real date. One that I thought I'd never be on.

Kathryn asked me if I was planning on going further than
what we've gone, and I told her no. I think our
relationship is pretty good right now, and I don't want to
add anything else. I don't think in our state of the
relationship anything sexual should happen. I don't mind
kissing him, but nothing more.

I guess that's all I have to write about. I'll write back
soon, I promise




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