Blue Castle reverie

My Saga
2002-12-02 23:31:09 (UTC)

I'm not sorry

I didn't see a single one of my friends over Thanksgiving
break. I was in Charlotte with my extended family, and so
I missed our big group get-together on Friday, but I was
back on Saturday, and about to start calling people to see
if they wanted to hang out, but then I realized I just
didn't care anymore. With one or two exceptions, my high
school friends aren't a part of who I am anymore, and I'm
the most at peace with myself that I've been in a long
time, now that I'm just not going to deal with their crap
anymore...
direct quotes from a few of their livejournals from
this past weekend:
" It is amazing you can spend one night with people who
have been your friends for years and go home not wanting
to claim most of them as friends."
"But, like Laura pointed out to me a few minutes ago, and
Amy confirmed, this group cannot live without drama in it."
" However - this group is like a bad Greek tragedy...
always in need of drama - you're never safe, especially
when the messengers show up."
They all also say in their lj's that it was a lot of fun,
but since not a single one of them has even im'd me since
then, I wouldn't know. It's like I'm not even worth the
effort to them anymore, so why should they be for me?
And with a few exceptions, none of them have made any
special effort to see me since school has started, even
though almost all of them have cars on campus with them,
and almost all of them are within an hour and a half's
drive. I have so many great memories with them, and I
still miss them, but it's just not worth it anymore; I'm
tired of feeling like things are falling apart because
they're pulling away. And I'm not sorry that I missed
seeing them all.