me

Ignorance is bliss
2002-12-02 21:34:50 (UTC)

this is it

this is my last entry in this name i am not telling anyone
what the new one is because a person said that why have a
diary if you can't really say what you want to say and i
can't in fear i will hurt someones feelings and this person
knows who this person is i have found i can't say certain
things because of the fact that she is in love with me and
i have found i was in love with her the old her she has
changed she is hurting people around her in every which way
lately she has only been thinking about her own feelings in
ways i will not say until my name is changed she says she
dosent want to get hurt but there is a saying treat others
the way you want to be treated and this person is hurting
people the way she dosen't want to be hurt she hurts me
when she doesn't except the fact that i am in love with
another she hurts the one i am in love with the dirty looks
and the poems she writes about me in front leaves me
feeling guilty for a feeling that makes me feel wonderful
she says she is not worthy of being lucky enough to get
someones love but she has it and she is looking right
passed it to something she can't have i love her dearly as
a friend but she has gotten caught up in this she is
holding another persons feeling in a case and using them to
make her feel good about herself when she is upset with me
she runs to that person as if that person is a
consiltation prize she says she cares a lot but she tells
me she cares a little i think she does it to make me
jealous but it doesn't work she wants to make me feel
guilty but i don't sure she is my best friend but the past
couple of weeks we have grown apart she says it is because
of my new found love i say it is because of her new found
love of me she says she is willing to wait well she will
wait forever she says maybe then she will love this other
person but is you don't love her now why give her the thing
that is so special and for only the person you love she
wants to keep this a secret but i can't i have realized my
silence is making it worse i would like to tell her now i
do not love you the way i love my lover only as but a
friend and i think that is the only way i can feel so when
you finally tell her the truth call me until then i will
pick my stuff up soon please clear this up i am onl;y doing
this because i can't talk to you anymore when i try to tell
you my problems you think i'm rubbing it in your face but
that all for now




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