lilliana

lilliana
2001-08-24 20:40:33 (UTC)

Dear God

How can you help me? Huh? Can you hold me? Can you tell me
things will be okay? No I didn't think so...will you hold
my hand and look into my eyes and tell me that things will
be better? No I didn't think so. Oh yes, I am talking to you
Jehovah, HE who creates. I am so sorry if I have wronged
you, sweet Jehovah, but I think now it is you that have
wronged me. I needed you and you left me, and while I write
these spiteful words with warm tears running down my face
your back still is turned. You perform miracles all the
time and do so many beautiful things, yet you have granted
me the one gift of depression. Why? What have I done? Why
are you fucking testing me??? Am I not good enough for
you??? Why do you hate me God? Im so sorry for what I have
done but I stand before you begging you to make the pain
stop. Are you listening? Do you see my tears? Are you
really there??