Diana

my life, my thoughts
2002-12-02 15:30:45 (UTC)

lame ass baby daddy

let me tell you about kevins dad. hes been calling me
for the past few days telling me that he loves me and that
every thing that happened in life has to do with me. hes
making this big change in his life and he swears it is all
because of me. which in a way is good because hes making a
change for the better. and im proud to say that i have
saved someones soul. that makes life worth living. i
know that not getting with him is a big mistake, but im not
ready to be with anyone. but like he said i will be his
best friend but nothing more. i kinda feel bad for him cuz
i know that hes feeling deserted because he just told the
chick that he was with for the past 6 years that hes got a
2 yr old and hes leaving her, now she done went all psycho
and shes telling him to get a blood test and all this other
bullshit, and hes telling her that is an insult to him and
if she cant deal with it to fuck off. but on the other
hand he knows that she has low self esteem (cuz shes fat)
and she keeps asking him what do i have that she dont? he
said that he just bit his tongue. he knows that he was
wrong for cheating on her but he said she drove him away.
at the begining of their relationship he cheated on her
forthefirst6 months. and when he saw that is was getting
serious so he told her. and he said from there on out, it
washell. he was trying to get at me for the longesttime
and i kept telling him no cause of her. she live the next
block down from my mother. and i really didnt get along
with him cause he was an asshole at the time. so i let him
be, now hes telling me that he never meant to be that way,
he only actedike that cause he had been stabbed by his
mother when he was younger and he was afraid of being hurt
again. ok thats understandable, but i aintcha momma
whatever she did to you, you need to confront her over
that. dont take it out on me, foreal. cause look what you
lost. acting like that. he keeps saying that he changed
and he wants to be with me because i helped him change soo
much. and i feel good that i did but that dont change the
fact of how you treated me. now you want me to just
forgive and forget? naw bro its going to be a while for
all that. as bad as i hate to admit it, he hurt my feeling
to by acting the way he did. now he sees that im not how he
thought i was. and he is regreting it. but that is not my
fault. he knows that he made a mistake and now he is
trying to correct it and im at the point of my life where i
dont want anyone right now. i told him that and it damn
near broke his heart. im just tired of all the bullshit
that niggas try to run on you. so im just going to get my
shit right and finish school and then worry about settling
down. these men dont want nothing out here but to be taken
care of. and i already got 2 people to worry about. i
dont need another mouth to feed, another ass to wash, or
another head to comb. fuck niggas, get money. i cant do
it. its all darvis' fault. j/k. but since he left i lost
all urges to have any kind of sex. which is good. for me
anyway. i just want to give it to him one last time, then
send him on his way. thats not right, but oh well. well
im going to close up shop now. ill write back soon. later
days




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