Malice

Diary of an awkward child
2002-12-01 04:07:44 (UTC)

driftwood

its so wierd. it feels like my whole life has suddenly
flung itself into changing. its been a while since i last
wrote so ill tell you what i've been up to before i tell
you about changes. i don't really remember the 25th or
26th. so i cant tell you about them (i remember that the
26th is when i started feeling the changes thing though).
anyways the 27th was jeanettes birthday. i left school VERY
early...i normally have 10 periods and i didnt go to the
last 3 of them. then i went to tower records and bought
jeanette the greenday-nimrod cd. then i went to meet ricky
and samantha at murrow. we went to rickys...waited for
vlad...vlad couldnt go...then we went to sams. sams dad
drove us to the UA in sheepshead bay. we saw james
bond...it sucked ass. i slept through half of it....the
other half some old guy sitting next to me was yelling at
me to shut up....old people were meant to be hard of
hearing dammit. then we all (the people at jeanettes party)
went back to jeanettes mom's house. we ate..i was feeling
depressed and wasnt doing too good of a job of hiding it
even though i tried. i didnt want to make jeanettes
birthday horrible. i kept thinkg about how life had changed
way too much though. ricky and me left at 10:00 because i
had to be home at 11:00. we walked, and it was so fucking
cold out. the 28th was thanksgiving and the day that marked
me and ricky being together for 5 months...it doesnt seem
like its been that long. anyways, he came over for
thanksgiving and he actually ate food, i was very proud of
him hehehe. we watched lord of the ringd with mei mei and
dennis (my younger aunt and her boyfriend). when ricky had
to leave they walked with me so that i could walk ricky
home. on the 29th me ricky and renee went to the village. i
got fuscia hairdye and ricky got me dark green and black
striped stalkings :) i wore his pants that day and i still
have them...they are cool i like them. after we got back
from the village at 5:00 we went to rickys for a little
while and then we went to mcdonalds. after mcdonalds we
went to vlads and sat on his stairs for a while. then ricky
brought me home. thats brings us to today. today i didnt go
out, i didnt see anyone, and i hardly talked on the phone.
which gave me time to think. too much time. i am feeling so
depressed lately. its like im seeing how life is going to
change a lot and im scared. im going to drift apart from
some people, stay close with others, leave my "family", and
all this thinking is just making me realize i can't do
anything to altar these changes. and it depresses me. and i
dont even understand why. watching the movie "ghost world"
didnt help me at all because its basically about changes
that this girl goes through after graduationg high school.
so it made me think even more. well i shall go now.
ttfn
~Malice~




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