ruefulformelancholy

life is just a poker game
2001-08-24 02:24:40 (UTC)

wow, it's been a while

it's been a while since i wrote anythign on here. mostly
because i don't have access to a computer except at work,
and i hate writing here because people are always looking
over my shoulder. anyway.

things here are ok. i am sad, but relieved that the
relationship with tray is over. for good. it seems that i
put alot of effort into it - although he would probably say
i didn't do anything - but i did. and it was all for
nothing. but hopefully we can still hang out and be friends.

we went out on monday - taco bell and just drove around for
a couple hours. it was pretty nice - just talking to each
other. it was the most time we've spent together when there
wasn't a destination in mind (like the warped tour) in a
long, long time.

he says he misses me. and i miss him too. but i've been
missing him for a long, long time. i think how he treated me
in the last few months we were together was pretty shitty.
and it's gonna take a while to get over that.

in other news, i'm broke as all hell. but still, it's so
nice to go home, and beable to do whatever the hell i want
to do and eat wahtever i feel like eating. i've been doing
really well about going to the gym, too. hopefully i'll keep
up with toning my body. although my breasts have started to
sag since i lost all that weight. hah. oh well. maybe when i
get rich i can get a breast lift! hahaha

i had to go to the dentist yesterday. i'll know in a few
weeks if i need a root canal or not. blah. maybe they will
give me good drugs for pain, though. except i would have to
borrow money to pay for the surgery. and the drugs. hm.

my mom sent me pictures of the family. it made me really
homesick...especially now that i'm here, without any real
friends, and my family is so far away from me. (think:
practically the other coast). i miss them. i miss that
culture - the straightforwardness and the ruggedness. sighs.

so, here i am. at work at 9:30pm, just to write on the
computer. i'd go home, but the house is boring. only PBS,
NBC, Fox, and the WB on tv. Lots of cd's but no cd player
that is functional. No tapes, but a tape player that works.
And, of course, the radio in all it's commercial glory.

I think I may be going out Saturday with some friends
though. That will be nice.

And my cell phone is supposed to get here tomorrow. FinallY!
A phone!

Ok, I go now. Be safe.




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