Kyden Conformity

self destruction introduction
2001-08-24 01:08:31 (UTC)

is it to come down to this?

I drove back to the city this morning. I'm still not
feeling that great, drank tea in the late morning sun with
my friend. he thinks everything is so contrived.

I haven't seen Steph. I don't know if I want to see her.
how should I act anyhow, have I even decided?
Now that I'm here I feel sort of sick at the very idea of
talking to her. I know that she's oblivous to the way I'm
feeling, is it worth talking about or will I destroy what
we have due to my own selfish paranoia and demands?? I'm
torn.

My room looked different when I walked in, as if it had
shifted somehow and was now someone elses. My room is
always dark and full of shadows, comforting.

I hope my flatmates are home when I return, I need to be
reminded of my life outside of my relationship with Steph,
my parents and my sickness.

It's too early to be so reflective.