Self harming dyke
Ad 2:
2002-11-29 15:39:34 (UTC)


Strangely I have not been counting the days and weeks since
cutting and puking, but I realise it has been at least 6
weeks since I did either of them. However, I am so
desperate to see a psych and having to wait for so long due
to bloody NHS that I am going to take 30 paracetamol, wait
between 5 and 10 hours then go to my Drs appointment and
inform her. This is going to happen on Monday (3 days). You
might think this is an over the top way to see a
psychiatrist, but if you have ever had a mh problem in the
UK and don't have the funds to go private, you will
understand that it is the only way to speed the process up.
Also, the GP will be so freaked out by my presenting with
this that she will either start taking me seriously or stop
treating me. Since I am starting to feel the old crush
feelings for her and think about her all the time, the
latter might not be such a bad idea anyway.

I expect I will be taken to hospital, given a parvolex drip
and a bottle of charcoal, spend the day being sick, then
see a psychiatrist. I will tell them that I will try again
until I get an appointment. This will result in me being
held there for a bit or else told to go away and stop
wasting their time. I don't want to be sectioned because I
want to do the PGCE so I should avoid this. I also don't
want my parents to find out, so I will pretend to them that
am staying at a friend's house for a bit after the doctor's

Well, you are now even more freaked out by me than ever. Oh
well, I never pretended to be normal.

Also, Mr "why don't you get a life" - don't bother giving
me any more "feedback" on this diary. I am not interested
in hearing from you again. I can take criticism but what
you said what out of order.

Cat x