My Heart and Soul....
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2002-11-29 04:54:57 (UTC)

It's almost here


Wow....18 is almost here. I can't believe it It really
does seem like it was only yesterday I was looking forward
to 16. I am making plans to spend LOTS of time with my BEST
friends, so I will be sure that this birthday DOESN'T SUCK
I already said, I am not letting any men ruin the memories
this year. Nope nope.....I'm single, and
(mostly)unattatched. :-D and most importantly, I'M HAPPY

The man scene. I dun really know. You all know I met
someone. He's great. I still think that. We just had a
little talk the other night about things. Committments, and
"relationships" and also....baggage. Apparently we both have
some issues that got brought up. That was a little tough,
cause it's the first time in a long time that I have talked
to a guy about my issues with men. I haven't given him a
detailed report. Just enough to know that I have some
problems, that might put a damper on a new relationship. But
he can lay claim to similar problems. I left on a sorta bad
note. He said "I'll call you." It was more like an I'll call
you when I have time to figure things out. Age is also
something I brought up. We all know my history with guys his
age. It's not good, and I most certainly do not want to
repeat it. So he knows that, and I guess we will have to
see where things go when he gets back from Ohio for the
holiday. We had made plans to spend some time together for
my birthday. Hopefully we will still do that, whether we do
it under the whole pretense of a "couple" remains to be
seen. Either way, I've told myself I'm going to be cool with
it, because even if it pans out into a simple friendship,
it's better than nothing, cause I still think he's a great
guy. (I like him...but don't tell him that.) I think it's
better if my feelings remain a secret. I suspect that he
feels the same, but again, the age thing is harder on
guys...so I will let him take the next big step. (but if
anyone wants to give him a push in the right direction, you
can feel free)

I think that is the update for now. I guess if anyone wants
to do something for my birthday you need to get a hold of
me. I don't really know whats going on with the party. It
depends partly on me and andy, and partly on the weather. I
will keep you all updates though

I love you all, and I will talk to you soon