waiting with a watchful eye
i went over to emma's today. she'd popped like 5 "blue's".
ya know... she called me this morning and told me she
needed a friend... because it was her first thanksgiving
without her mom. i was so glad. i mean, i guess i thought
that the old emma... the one who wasn't drugged out all of
the time... was back.. or trying to come back... or
something. and she walked in her room and smelled like
liquor and looked like hell. and she also proceeded to tell
me that she was glad i was here... and that i could stay "a
little while after wyatt (her boyfriend) got there." ...
god... i didn't know what to say. i mean... it was like...
it didn't even occur to her that she was being rude and
fucking idiotic...i had driven all of the way from crenshaw
to curtis to see her... and she ...... god. i don't know. i
know i'm talking in fragments... but ... i'm so disgusted
with the concept of friendship i could throw up. fuck
friendship. fuck drugs. fuck this town. fuck the holidays.
sorry... just caked up animosity...
on a lighter note... ????...
jordan's being a dick again. (ya know... the 13 year old
brother) that is to be expected, though.
oh oh... yeah... something good... my mamaw's here
tonight... she rocks my sox.
reminder to self: look for dave matthew's version of "stuck