Faerie Onyx

about my ex

Jamie decided that she wasn't really into girls. I guess
she didn't want to tell me and hurt me, but it would have
hurt less if she had told me before. But at least now I
don't have to feel bad about Victoria ::drools::

But that's not the shitty part. My EX friend Ben told
Jamie that my new bestest friend Izzy asked me out, which
is complete and utter bullshit. Izzy knew I had a
girlfriend and she knew that I loved Jamie. She wouldn't
do that to Jamie anyway, they're friends And that's not
even the shittiest part

Ben's not the only one who was talkin shit about me...
Someone said that I sucked Travis' dick behind the shed on
Halloween, and that I let him finger me That's so fucked
up, I swear to God... All we did was share a goddamned
cigarette, and the reason we were sitting is because my
knee is fucked up and I had been standing too long, so it
hurt. We didn't even kiss that much I'm sorry, I've only
let... two people finger me in my whole fucking life And
I have never given anyone head, and I'm sorry, but I never
would. And I'll never let anyone finger me ever
again ::gets sick:: blah...

Oh yeah, and my shitty ex called me a slut-ass whore,
haha... I find that so funny, while still being so fucked
up... I wasn't the one who started fucking someone two
weeks after he and I broke up And you know what? I don't
care who the fuck he fucks as long as he's happy

I swear to God, I've had enough of people talkin shit about
me... I mean, Michelle talkin shit about what a slut I am
at prom... Makin out with Ekka... I DIDN'T MAKE OUT WITH
EKKA

And all through middle school being called a slut because I
was popular. I'll never make THAT mistake again... fuckin
preps...

And last year, my *ex* best friend saying that I was a
slut, and I wasn't good looking to these two guys who were
fighting over who would ask me out first. She liked them
both, and she was jealous, but still... did she have to say
that? They told me she said that, and when I confronted
her about it, she denied it, and told me that she thinks
I'm soooooo gorgeous or some shit... I believed them over
her, and then a few months later I confronted her about it
again (because she was supposedly doing it again) and she
confessed to everything...

And Tuesday some preppy asshole called me a Satanist
bitch. Obviously he hasn't met many Satanist bitches, but
it was sooooooo much fun giving him an evil look. He
freaked out and walked away, which was my entertainment for
the day ^.^

You would seriously think that it wouldn't hurt me after
all that shit, but it does. I can't fuckin stand people
right now, and I am so depressed and angry
Goddammit, sometimes I just wish I could die...

What's the most fucked up though, Jamie pays more attention
to me now than she did when we were going out. I guess it
doesn't really bother me, as long as she's happy. Why do I
always put other people's feeling before my own? Fuck
it... fuck it all...