e's issues
2002-11-28 07:44:29 (UTC)

Enough is enough

It has recently come to my attention that I might not only
be depressed but actually have depression....theres a
difference there in my book. I think it is that I can't fix
the depression maybe that's why I haven't been happy for
freaking ever. I cry so often for no reason really. I
don't have motivation just plans. It seems too much trouble
to meet people and yet I am so fucking lonely. Ok so one
would think perhaps you're just a whiny loser and perhaps I
am but one snaps out of a funk and I haven't.

I was reading through poetry tonight from the beginning of
college and jesus fucking christ it sounds like I was going
to kill myself at times. Kinda wished someone had picked up
on THAT. Anyway this is it, I'm giving myself just a few
more months to snap out of this and then I'm seeking
professional help. I have to be happy at some point in life
or there's just no point to it. So the deal is, if after my
assignment in FL i'm not different/better/happier/less weepy
I see a therapist.

Enough is enough.