sammy

this moment
2002-11-27 05:22:45 (UTC)

last holidays at home

tonight i went to the movies with my little sister. we went
and saw sweet home alabama.. pretty cute movie. it was nice
to do something just the two of us. we dont do that very
often...busy schedules and all.
tomorrow im going to virginia with my mom and sister. this
year is going to be fun, cause all four of my moms sisters
are going to be there, which hardly ever happens. but im
really looking forward to it.
my cousin michelle called the other day and was talking
about trying to out to a bar or something on friday. that
would definitly be interesting. im sure all the aunts would
love it if all the cousins all went out and got smashed
together one night. hey, it would give us something to talk
about next thanksgiving.... its weird now that im old
enough to actually do these things with my older cousins,
cause most of them are anywhere from 7 to 15 years older
than i am.
im really excited though. lots of talking and eating and
all that good shit. will be a really nice thanksgiving. my
last one really living at home and going with my mom and
sister. this will be my last christmas living at home too.
unless something happens and i dont like it up there in
maryland or something and end up coming home. but really
this should be my last christmas living at home. which is
exciting and sad and weird all at the some time. im moving
in a month...that just seems so foreign to me. like i wont
really beleive it until im there and not here anymore.
i really hope that i like it up there. i hope i find a good
job, and meet interesting people and make new friends, and
meet wonderful men, and just have a great time. i know i
will have fun living with valerie, we will be getting into
all kinds of trouble, its going to be crazy. i cant wait..
i feel like its coming so quickly but at the same time not
quick enough. the only reason im not ready for it to be
here yet is cause im still scared and im broke. but im
going to do this no matter what.
talked to jason, told him to have a good thanksgiving and
that i would talk to him when i got back. i have a hard
time figuring him out. he is really affectionate and
cuddly, but at the same time says he doesnt want to like me
too much since im leaving. but the way he is gives a girl
signals which would suggest otherwise.
my conclusion is that he is scared of getting attached. he
says he doesnt want me to get to attached. but i think the
truth is that he is just scared of getting hurt. and i
think this whole bad boy-good girl thing has kinda thrown
him for a loop too. i dont think im the kind of girl he is
used to hanging out with. yes i have this whole smart ass
tough demeaner going on. but im really just a nice girl at
heart. so i think i threw him for a loop with that one. i
think he was expecting something else. but im just enjoying
the moment. having fun hanging out with him while im here.
hopefully neither of us will get attached. but i know that
i for one have a hard time not getting attached to
people,whether its a friend or a guy or a coworker, i just
generally like people and get attached to them easily and
miss them when they are not around anymore. but i am
leaving in a month, so im goin to try really hard not to
and just have fun. guess we will see what happens...




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