Book of Souls
2001-08-22 02:35:57 (UTC)


Have you ever been confused beyond all belief? Sure you
have. Well have you ever wondered why we do the things we
do? Like why is it that I chose the one time I'm talking to
two people(one on ICQ and one on AIM) to write one of these
damned thing? It doesn't make much sense.

Why is it that when you find the person you love the most
you never can do the right thing? Fight, neglect, jealousy,
hatred. How is that connected with love? It's not but it
always winds up there.

There is a saying that second best is the first loser. is
that what it's like with starting over? Does that mean even
if you try it'll never be as good as it was. So why do we
try? If we just have to settle for second why play? Why
can't I be happy with who I want to? Why does life
constantly try to screw you over? Circumstance gets in the

Things fall apart and things die. So c'mon, c'mon, c'mon
be alive. But what if what you want is dead...or worse
undead. What if it no matter what you try it just keeps
sucking the life out of you and getting stronger and
stronger? Sunlight doesn't work. Stake through the heart
made it laugh. What do you do?

I wanna fly away...

That's lenny kravitz. I hate him. but it came to mind.
there went my punctuation as well who cares though its my
journal but anyways lets regroup and come on back

Okay cool again. So what do say to somebody you hate? I
love you. what about your one true love? I hate you too. No
that's not right, it just comes sounding like that.

I hate journals and I hate feelings. I hate fights and I
hate hate. Once I wrote a five page poem about hating
everything and everyone. But I don't, and can't, and maybe
that's my weakness.

If there was an archenemy for me he would be the
Hatemonger. I say I hate but I don't. No one believes me
because I've perfected the art of lying.

You ever wake up and have no idea who you are, why you're
there, and for what reason? No? Me neither. I've had bits
and pieces, but not all at once. I think if I did, loyal
readers(which there are none, even I don't know how to read
the damned thing:), then good ole Chris Estes would cease
to exist. Can you imagine if all of a sudden the one man
holding back the awesome powers of E001 suddenly lost his
morals and ran rampant through the streets of your mind?


Speaking of E001, I can feel my powers beginning to sour.
I only have four more months before I lose them all. Let's
see what I've accomplished since gaining them? Became a god
like entity. Ruined one relationship. Ruined another one.
Got suckered into staying all summer at work. Pretended I
was Harry Potter. Tried to pick up the pieces of
Relationship #2. Dropped them. Saw Planet of the Apes.

Not very impressive. On the plus have a room
mate named Wichita.

Anyways, so...what do you do? What do I do? Give up?
Second place is the first loser. Keep plodding through it?
Hope it gets better? I dunno. Just blabber on about nothing
and avoid the question?

DING DING DING! We have a winner.

I guess, in my case, time is up. Time to pay the piper and
call it a night. So stop sending me damn update botices. I
wrote an entry.

au revoir(I don't know french)