Lost and Searching
2002-11-26 05:00:41 (UTC)

tired of thinking

i have thought till my head aches, i have prayed for god to
show me a sign in what to do with nett, but to this point
nothing has come to me..i feel this in my bones, and wish
to god that i didn't, i feel as though i didn't really know
her, as though everything that we shared was a lie...Right
now i pity her, because for what she has lost, and what she
will never know again

i had a dream last night, and i saw her in a couple years
into the future....she was just someone who never knew what
they had till they lost it, and the saddest part was she
didn't have a clue of what she had do to lose it, when it
was so obvious to everyone my dream i knew that i
had died and yet still had lived a full and meaningful
life, where she was stuck in rut.....i know that it sounds
like i am dogging her but damn this is my diary and i can
do that, now maybe tomorrow i can move on, and hopefully
dream about something else, oh knows maybe even justin.