McCall

the life of a not so perfect KT girl
2002-11-26 02:56:48 (UTC)

bleed

have u ever cut urself on like a broken peice of glass or
something and just watched the blood flow .. and feel this
odd kinda release .. like for just a few seconds all ur
problems seemed a little lighter .. .. Odd how something
like that could release u .. like I knew this gurl once and
she would come to school with cuts all over her wrists and
tell me how it was such a rush for her to cut through her
flesh and to feel her wrists just burn afterwards.. I was
never really sure what to make of this till i tired .. and
I could never explain to u how it felt .. i was very
depressed at the time and was looking for anything to take
my mind off all my troubles.. the release I felt with
playing with my life and knowing I could end it at any
moment knowing that I could bleed myself to death .. this
gave me such a rush .. I actually hurt myself to make the
hurt go away .. how ironic is that ... this gurl taught me
so much .. she taught me how to hate and how to be hated ..
I have yet to comprehend the magnitude of her presence in
my past .. i have yet to understand her impact
and maybe oneday i will but I don;t now and yeah..
~*MC