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2001-08-21 20:58:23 (UTC)

College is Frustrating...

You know what bothers me about college? After someone asks
you what your name is, the next thing they ask is, "what's
your major?" I don't know!!!...I'm freaking 19 years old,
what do I care about a major...Most people don't do anything
even somewhat related to their major when they graduate from
college...Which of course is also something I don't know.
The question of the century...What do you want to be when
you grow up? How bout a little kid. What I wouldn't give
to be in kindergarten again. Coloring inside the lines is
much easier that Organic Chemistry...I think that's so
funny; when I was younger all I wanted was to be older, to
have more responsibility, to be treated like an adult...Now
I almost feel like running away from the 'real world.' I
don't want to pay bills...No one ever tells you the little
things. I'm not worried about AIDS or getting pregnant, I'm
worried about paying my car insurance every month and I'm
worried about the 400 dollars I just had to shell out for
books. Sure, I care about the world and I want to make a
difference, but I don't really think I'm going to be able to
contribute too much to the world when I'm paying off my
student loans for years to come...I don't mean to sound so
pessimistic, because generally I'm a very happy person. I
just really want my life back, college seems to suck away
all of my time. But that's mainly my own fault. I
shouldn't try to do so many things at the same
time...Sometimes I forget that I have my whole life ahead of
me and that I don't have to do it ALL right this second. I
don't know what it is...I think I'm just mostly skeptical
because for the first time in my life I don't know what's
going to happen, and I don't really feel like I know where
I'm going...It's like hiking up a mountain trail and getting
lost from the path...Right now, I'm just trying to get to
the matter how I have to get there...