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2001-08-21 19:38:45 (UTC)

Dreaming a Friend

dammit. this sucks. life sucks. Kitty already has some
one she's been flirting with. "and he's soooo sweet."
fuck. i don't know if i feel pissed off or sad. but i had an
interesting dream last night. there was this girl that i
guess was like a movie star or something. but most of
the time i spent with her i seemed to have been just
pissing her off. i never ment to. but then some time later
we talked and i appologized for pissing her off, but she
said it wasn't me, she was just having a bad day. at the
end of the dream i guess we were friends. i could use a
friend right now. i don't mean some one to talk to like
every one else, online, i want some one in the flesh. or
maybe i need some one to be more than a friend. but i
have wanted that for a while and keep falling flat on my
face. i can never seem to get over my feelings for Kitty,
but it seems like i'll never really have a chance with her. but
she never wanted me and doesn't seem to. i just don't
get it. why do i continue to have feelings for some one
that doesn't have the same feelings for me? *sigh* i
don't get it.