Oh,The Insanity
2002-11-25 07:58:25 (UTC)

Kipp's Home

Friday night, I hung out with adam. And ya know what? I
really miss him. Like, I've always known that I missed
him, but this just made me realize. It's the feeling that
you get when you haven't seen someone, to whom ur usually
really close, in like ages. Well, ages is 3months now. I
feel kinda bad, as though I ditched him, but in
reality...he was right. Lol, who'd have thought?(JK)Life is
busy for both of us, so there's really no time. In a way,
I'm jealous of all those people who have the freedom to
just drop their lives to go and see him...but I couldn't do
that. I try to make time to at least call to say hi, and
as is...that's all I can really do. Money's tight, time is
wasting and I feel that the time I do have for myself,
SHOULD be spent with him, he is my best friend afterall,
but sometimes I'm just too goddammed tired to drive out
there or I don't have the money for gas...or sometimes, I
wish he would come see me...but he has no car. ANYWAYS,
that has nothing to do with anythign. For 2 hours, we sat
and talked. And I truly, madly, deeply miss that. Being
able to "strip myself" in front of him and let him know
EVERYTHING that is on my mind...but not in a nagging way,
in a "I'm your best friend...I want to talk to you" kinda
way. Its hard to explain, but sitting there in the
playground of my youth, under the pavilion in the dark,
with rain pouring down all around u...he was "Adam"
again... not "my friend" or "my ex" or "my fuckbuddy" or
even "my lobster" but he was ADAM, the one who knows me,
who can tell what I'm thinking, who understands me...Adam
before everything. And I missed that. And now, more than
before, I want my friend back...I miss you.
As for the title, kipp did come home and I spent all Sunday
with him. In the beginning, we were like 'we need to find
something to do' cuz we were both so tired -- him cuz he
was awake for 72 hours straight and me cuz I'm a bum. So
we went out to lunch, then to walmart...then came home and
fell asleep watching movies, then Gina and Crystal came
over, then Dan came over, and it was all TEchy-like and I
was like "wow...freaky" then Dan and Gina left and Kipp and
Crystal and I played Scrabble then Crystal left. And
then....kipp and I lied in the bed for a while, then moved
to the chairs and then...we talked about all kinds of
shit. And it was different. I felt...weird talkin to kipp
about some of the shit I can talk to adam about...I guess
Kipp's not as close as I thought...but adam is closer than
I knew. Its hard to explain, but if u know what i
mean...isn't it freaky?
Goin to bed
love all
ps- here's to Long Talks in the pouring rain, a leather
jacket with a crushed zipper, Cloves, and I miss you's.
pps- Here's to solar-powered ladybugs and nut-covered
portwine cheese balls (;-)you know who you are)