2001-08-21 19:21:44 (UTC)

August 21st....EWWWW....

Today just felt so.....blah. I don't know. It's like the
mood of others sometime effect me. I really don't want to
get too personal about this matter that is going on now
because my friend also has a diary on here...so she could
read it. I guess that's why you make it private...duh!
Actually, I don't think anyone reads this mess anyway.
Well, she is my best friend...no doubt...but sometimes I
don't understand her. I mean, she is so quiet at times and
I want her to talk to me about things. If something is on
her mind then I wish she would tell me. She likes Antonio
too and if she really wants him, then she can have him. I
wouldn't dare let him come between our friendship. That's
not saying that I like him any less than she does, but he
is just merely a play toy! It wouldn't last anyway! But I
just don't want her to think that I would do that to her on
purpose because I wouldn't. I know from experience how it
feels to have someone who you thought was your friend to do
something like that. I think it's a little worse than
having your heart broken. I just wouldn't do that to
anyone...not even an enemy....well, maybe! But I don't
know. I sometimes contemplate our friendship...no, I don't
think of her as any less, but I just feel lost about it
sometimes. Half the time I don't know what to say to her
and I just leave it at that. Sometimes, I just walk away
from it all because I don't want to worry myself about it
too much. I don't know what to do about it though. It just
doesn't feel too good right now.

Anyway, I need to get on the ball with all that college
stuff. I'm off tomorrow, so I'm gonna see what I can get
done. Hopefully a little bit of something will get done.
But today was just a really boring day....oh yeah, I've
found that when people talk about Leroy, I regret the fact
that I was even involved with him. I don't know...it's a
strange feeling I get. But I know I shouldn't regret
anything. NO REGRETS! Leroy WAS an important part of my
maturing, so I could never really regret that....*J*