charmed1

time

time has been slipping through my fingers. well, if ive
ever had a grasp on it, which i probably havent. it just
seems like i used to. if im confusing everyone, im sorry,
ill explain myself in a moment. at the begining of the
summer, time was on my side. i had three whole months of
spending time with my friends, and going to the beach, and
having fun. but now that my three months are over and i
only have today and tomorrow (yes two days) left, im
dreadfully amazed. or perhaps "amazed" isnt the right
word. shocked, i was dreadfully shocked, not amazed.
yesterday night cadence, devon, sam, kathleen, frank,
skittle, dan, and i all went to the movies to see rat race
(dont see it, it totally sucked). i found the movie much
more distubing than funny and kathleen, sam, and i walked
out of the theater dissing the movie, and debated if we
should just ditch everyone else and go to the coffie shop
rite next to the theater, but decided to go back into the
movie theater and sit next to the guys (well, i sat next to
frank). frank is the only guy id feel comfortable being
alone with. i dont no why, but hes theonly guy in our
little group where its not "wierd" to be around him. i
felt like it was back to the beginning of the summer cause
all the guys ignored me, kathleen, and sam, and swormed
around cadence. i thought they were over that, but i guess
not. it made me feel really neglected. i thought we all
were friends. i think its cool though that they DO open up
sumtimes at sam's parties. i luv sams parties.
well neway, when i was coming home yesterday, and was in
bed ready to fall asleep and it was soooo wierd!!! my mind
was ready to go to sleep, but my body was frozen, well not
cold, but stiff. it was so wierd! i could barely move. i
determinded that i was SCARED stiff about school starting
soon. and that was the end of it. but my mind started
racing after that. i thought that i should tell jon and
devon to stay away from chris and not hurt him in anyway (i
no either one of them could beat his ass down) because if
they get him mad, he might do sumthing... bad. it was a
long conversation with myslef, argueing and dissagring with
myself, and when i looked at the clock, i had been talking
to myself REALLY FAST for 30 minutes. i dont like talking
to myself in my head, but it does block off any fears that
may come accross me. thats enough for today. i dont want
to spend my last 2 days typing on a computer...