Heartpiece12

Ambitious Intentions
2002-11-25 02:06:58 (UTC)

last night i fell down the stairs...lol :D

gracefull aren't I ? EH oh well...lol haha today me and
miranda talked on the phone forever about a really fricken
hott guy....oh geez hes so hott...lol sorry....im
stoping...

i dont remember if i said this in my diary but lately ive
had dance problems...things r so messed up and im trying
so hard to do the right thing and then im trying to find
shaylis number for something and the only person who knows
the number is Jerimy.....I asked him for it and just like
blows up...i donno im not going to hold it against
him....maybe he just had a badd day or something but i
just wish that its not always my fault...i find it hard to
believe that everything is always my fault....people can
prolly just say that to me and ill believe it but i know
for a fact not everytime its my fault...but i mean hey if
it is then so be it im sorry and someone should tell me
and PROVE (keyword geez....) that im wrong. Just accussing
me and saying blah blah is not only not going to help me
but its not getting anywhere either.

I have to give props to Chris and Miranda...the past like
month or two ive been really distressed and they came to
my rescue with no hesitation...I would have talked to
shayli but as i said before i couldnt....she usually can
do the cheering up part.....her and chris...then miranda
is like the advicer on the same level as me ....like a
girl. Then chris gives me the intellectual advice...lol it
all evens out. I guess i just wish if i need something
desperatly and u know it ( im really sure u all could
tell) then dont ask me what i want it for/need it for/what
im gonna do with it....my gosh its obviously urgent and
then im just wasting more time bringing up the same thing
haunting me twice...why would u want to do that ???? ahhh
i wouldnt...ekkk ....

sorry today i guess im a little bit cranky or something...i
guess i still havent caught up on sleep...

then again why wouldnt i be cranky ?? my gosh to be frank
ive been having the worst times of my life the past few
weeks...what am i supposed to do ? no one has an answer to
this one HUGE problem and i would have talked about it
with shayli today but guess what ??? yeah we r not going
to get into that again. I just wish God would e-mail me an
answer ...that would be Grand unfortunatly that
isnt going to work....no one can help me and im so
alone...i just hope im making the right decision....if im
not...i hope God helps me out of it because it will be one
bigg mess....




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