SpineshankTool

The land of unknown
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2001-08-20 18:45:27 (UTC)

Brake up on Isle 4

remember a few entries ago, i said Kitty and (nameless
jerk) broke up? well, the past week or so, Kitty was
really in the dumps about it and feeling really bad. but
instead of what i would normally do, which is tell Lyz or
some one about it and then the two of us would cheer
up Kitty, but this time, i made it my personal obligation
to myself to cheer her up without any one else. although
i don't know if some one else was there or not. and with
a little work and some opening of my own old wounds
(bad memories), i got her back to normal. well, maybe
not her normal self, but she's doing a lot better. and i'm
feeling incredible. i was thinking a lot last night, i
couldn't sleep. fell asleep at about 3:30 or so in the
morning. but one thing i noticed a while ago, i forget
what it was really that showed me, but i found out that i
still had feelings for Kitty. i don't know why. i thought i'd
let go, but even with them together and me all the way
out here, i still loved her. and then they broke up, a part
of me was like 'woohoo'. but then i saw what it was
doing to her and how she felt about him.......... well..... it
didn't feel great. i would pray to any god if i could have
had his life. just to have her love me the way i loved her.
the way she loved him. that's all i asked for. all i
needed. i wanted to be everything she desired, but then
i moved. isn't life a bitch? well, she's said before she
has this curse, where when she lets some one get
close to her, they move away. and it's so far been pretty
damn accurate, even i moved. but i wonder..... what
would happen if she were to get with some one she
had let get close to her before and had already left? just
a thought. i mean, curses like so would only work once
on some one right? makes sense. hmm... sorry for
being so sappy. it happens every once in a while.


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