Daily Confessions
2001-08-20 17:18:53 (UTC)

a new start and already behind...

for those who might want to follow along on my diary, i'm a
19 year old female. The content within my diary will
contain content of an adult oriented nature coming from the
view point of a slave in the BDSM lifestyle. if you are
offended, please don't read my entries.. i would not like
to make anyone uncomfortable.

i'm creating this diary, for one, so that i may make my
daily confessions to my Master (online name: Sir
SweetShadow) and also keep Him apprised of my daily
activities. On August 17th i offered to Him my gift of
complete submission and became His full slave, an honor i'm
still quivering under the weight of. Not only is He my
Protector and Master, He is also my Teacher. To be honest,
as a submissive must, i am new to my lifestyle and
exploring it online. While i am getting acquainted with
the community and services for those in the lifestyle irl,
i am practicing it online only. Some might find it
appalling that i 'claim' or 'pretend' to be a slave online,
but my heart is truly owned by my Master, as well as my

My Master excepted me first as His student and began
teaching me the proper ways of a submissive. Then i was
given priveledge to be given a training collar so that my
education could be guided fully by Him. My potential is
very strong and my devotion to Him and this new life very
powerful. So much that my Master offered me His complete
Domination so that my education might be more complete,
offering all facets of the lifestyle to my willing brain
and heart.

Already behind, i thank those of you who've read this far
for doing so. Y/your willingness or perhaps curiousity to
know more about a slave's life shows the growing exceptance
in O/our society towards those just scewed from normal.

NOW, for my confessions. i'm in looooooove with emmy! i
don't know why, it's a little confusing, a little strange.
i never pictured myself turning to females for a
relationship, but ohhhhhhh how i love her dearly! Going by
the handle, enchanted emerald, my lover has taken hold of
what heart my Master hasn't conquered and taken as His
Own. she is not a collared sister of mine (for those not
in the know, all submissives generally view each other as
brothers and sisters... most Dom/mes view Each other as
Brothers and Sisters. this adds a touch of incestual spice
to it which perhaps is naughty but makes me shiver.),
however, my Master, so Giving and Loving, has priveledged
me to find pleasure and offer pleasure to her. (it makes me
damp just thinking about it.) through me, my Master and my
lover have also found E/each other, and my Master has
offered her His love as well.

My emmylove, though i wish for it so much its almost
tangible, has not offered her submission to my Master
(though she confessed that she was interested.) i would
not consider rushing her though. she had a terrible
experience with a wannabe, manipulative, grr i hate him so
much for how he hurt her, Dom and is shy to the thought of
going to Another. I'm not sure what happened exactly, and
if i did i wouldn't be posting it, so i'm sorry if you're
curious. my sister doesn't wish to tell me, and i don't
particularly wish to know. That part of her life is over
and i can only hope i make the next segment brilliant and

Confession #2: i am willing to risk 100 lashes with a
spiked flogger just to get MasterAwfulCoffel!! He is one of
the wiliest, smart aleckiest Doms i've ever met and no
matter what mischief i am up to, He always outsmarts me or
gets out of it, or in the case of yesterday, attacks me
with a bowl of bloo jello!! i will get You, MacSir! and
Your lil sub too! (*smooooch to baebysis*)

Confession #3: I'm having desirous feelings for an old
friend. Two years ago i ended a four year relationship with
Steve. my feelings had changed, i loved him, love him
still, but it wasn't the same quivering in my clothes,
dying to see him, pain in my heart that hurts soooo good
kind of Love as it had been. i felt it false to him and
myself to continue when my heart was only half there. we
have been apart for a loooong time and only recently
refound each other through e-mails. i have become close to
him again and discovered more about him than i ever knew
during those four years ( i was a fool, and any female who
doesn't treat him at least fifty times better than i did
doesn't deserve him. ). i found out he also shared my
desire to know more about the bdsm lifestyle so i invited
him to play with me and meet my Master and sisters and
F/family. we've talked almost every day and while my
feelings still aren't any stronger, a more physical pull is
drawing my hips towards him. I'm confessing this because
when i introduced him to my Master i claimed (and it was
true at the time) that i had no need to become intimate
with my angel (that's Steve/desybro's nickname). That's
changed, however, i won't act on the attraction, any more
than normal sub flirting, if my Master disallows it.

Confession #4 i can't think of anything more to write but
you can bet i'll have to make a second post later on today.
I have the day semi-off of work. The Beast (my 90 aerostar
minivan which i'm sure is held together by the sticks of
bubblegum my younger brother and i "accidently" dropped in
the AC vents when we were little) is out of commission,
sorta. A few days ago its brakes were sticking like the
dickens and stopping made a sound that was actually a whole
hell of a lot like that roar a plane makes when it's
breaking the sound barrier. (I kid you not, every time the
van stopped i'd mistakenly glance towards the sky to see if
there was a plane above us) Anyhow, my dad took it to get
it fixed (ended up doing it himself with his buddy's help)
and it seemed fine except the brakes were kinda touchy.
Well after dropping him off at work this morning i was on
my way home and started smelling something awful. I glanced
at my puppy (he goes everywhere with me) but he was sleepin
in the backseat so i knew it wasn't him. the van was also
having trouble accelerating on the freeway, so that might
be part of the problem.

Well i got home and got out of the van and it STUNK. it
smelled like burning rubber so i immediately thought it was
the e-brake (nope, checked it), then as i headed to the
door to call dad for help i realized there was a separate
smell, a more car fluidy smell (you know how car fluids
smell) and the smell of just plain burning. I checked under
the hood and under the Beast but didn't see any smoke or
anything (phew) and called in to work. Waiting on my dad
coming home now to have a look and if there's an "ok" i'll
head in to work and write later tonight, if not, maybe just
later this afternoon.

thank you for reading, aly