My Mind
2001-08-20 15:39:20 (UTC)

the accident

I just wanted it to be special for tommy thats the only
reason i hurried. i wasnt going that fast just about 10
miles over the speed limit. then that stupid car it hit
that hole and bent the rod i had to control it but i was
scared i have never been in an accident before wasnt sure
what to do i thought i hit the brakes but i think i just
took my feet off the pedals all together then reached one
arm back to protect destiny. i dont know if she is alive
or not her eyes are open and she isnt moving there is blood
every where i cant breath i hear the babys crying they are
alive kenny is in the way i cant move him i want the babys
out. little heath is ok no marks destiny is fine scratch
on her leg melissa is she alive? did she survive? yes
shes fine they have to cut the door stupid car i shouldve
bought a chevy or a buick, instead i bought a ford. what
was i thinking i shouldve been going slower the couple that
hit me idiots they shouldve moved they had plenty of time.
someone told cop i was doing 80 no not true doesnt matter
no one will believe me anyway. got hurt real bad other car
had air bags we didnt no seat belts on either. melissa met
the windsheild i got an up close look at my steering wheel
it is now in the shape of my body. broke my ribs hurts
real bad. im miserable wish i could give my life to take
it back dont want anyone hurt no more im in a lot of
trouble couldnt afford insurance going to cost a lot of
money what do i do i cant afford it. will they look down
on me i have a son i have a husband i cant lose them. will
they take them cause i cant afford it? whats going to
happen to me? i miss my friend is she ok of course she is
she just got a cut on the head. are you ok? besides the
broken ribs and busted knees and arm? no im not ok im
upset im depressed i am not a bad driver why did this have
to happen to me? coming home from my moms after the
accident on the interstate, saw an idiot weaving in and out
of traffic ran one guy off the road and still kept going
had to have been doing more than 90 bet he made it home
nice and safe yet i crashed and couldve died lucky very
lucky to be alive. things should happen to people who
drive like that not me i only went 10 miles over the speed
limit i wanted to get the cake there for tommys suprise
party. i dont drive bad especially not with kids in the
car. i hate my life now i cant do a lot of things cause it
hurts people look down on me im weak dont like to ask for
help cause in truth they really dont want to help they just
do cause its right. i dont want there help i want to do it
on my own i want my life back. its not going to happen
that way. a diary will that help or will that just make it
easier to access? i hurt inside and out. i would give
anything to take back that day. to make sure they were ok
and it didnt happen that way. --end--