The Boy Looked At Johnny
2002-11-22 02:49:08 (UTC)

November 21, 2002. Night, a little while later.

You know who I miss? A lot? Tom and Sarah. They are the
most wonderful kids. Making the short list in my head of
all the friends in this world I really, deeply care about,
the ones I'd want to take with me wherever I go, they make
the cut everytime. It was such a short amount of time we
knew each other, but gosh, they were so fun to be with and
supportive and easy to talk to.

I believe them to share the same rarified space as Nate,
Dave, Katie, Joel, Jim. Perhaps Jonathan Katz, also. And
also Jessy.

Ah, Jessy.

What a girl.

It feels so great. It didn't always -- you can tell, can't
you? -- but I'll tell you what turned it around for me. She
asked me one night on the phone, a month or two ago, very
sweetly, if I was just hanging on because she was going
through hard times. And that I shouldn't if that was the
case. It was just one of the most courageous, honest,
vulnerable things I've ever heard anyone say. I felt my
heart filling up with love for this strange and wonderful
girl with the curly black hair. I don't always understand
her. Sometimes she confuses me, sometimes she really makes
me pouty. Sometimes I worry. But she also makes me really,
really happy, and I love her for that. And for so much
else. Because there are times, not infrequently, where I DO
understand her. I DO get her. That's why I don't want to
let her go for the forseeable future.

Also: I think the fact that she's almost certainly moving to
Lexington has a lot to do with the state of things. It was so hard
before, so abstract. But now we have something tangible to work with.
I don't know if we could do it otherwise. But now, I feel as if we
can. Absolutely.