Bruce Wayne

2002-11-21 20:10:24 (UTC)

Police State

So in a previous entry I told the harrowing tale of how our
hero (that would be me) was unjustly accused and fined for
the heinous crime of speeding. The aleged crime took place
at approx 12:35 AM Nov 7th. Yesterday, the Glorious
Commonwealth sent me a notice that they were going to
recind my priveledge of touring their pockmarked roads
because I didn't respond to the fine in a timely manner. Hogwash!!!
I sent in my request for a hearing exactly one week after the
alleged event. Well as it turns out the Constable issuing
the citation dated it October 7th, not November 7th so
naturally when I didn't respond to the fine after a month
they needed to penalize me (sounds painfull huh)

After spending over 15 minutes on hold before talking to a
human being, I was informed that the citation did infact
say Oct 10th and the only way to get this corrected was to
have the officer send a letter of correction to the
Department of Motor Vehicles. So the task @ hand was
tracking down the officer in question. He won't be in the
barracks till Saturday night @ 11:00 PM. I have to call him
then and hope that he will write this letter and send it
into the DMV. I'm confident that the odds of something
else going wrong here will increase exponentially
everytime it passes throught the hands of someone on the
payroll of this Glorious Commonwealth.

So now, not only wasn't I Speeding , but I wasn't speeding
on the wrong date. Hey wait a minute, maybe I was speeding
on Oct 7th and it took a full month for this highly
trained, infallible guardian of the peace to catch me.
Better yet maybe he saw me speeding in October, and
traveled through time to November when I was traveling at a
greatly reduced speed and would be more easily aprehended.

So wether I was speeding or not is really no longer in
question. The only two issues at hand are, how fast I was
going, and on what date the alleged violation of the speed
statute actually occurred. I would think that for it to
have taken 30 days for this stealthy traveler of time and
space to finally sniff out my trail , I must have been
utilizing technology far more sophisticated than the
exterior of my 99 Grand Cherokee suggests. 95mph...I think
not!!!!! I suggest Ludicrous Speed (hats off to Mell Brooks
for that one!)

Here's where it gets tricky. When did this all take place.
October 7th is when I am being accused of this infraction,
November 7th is when I recall being cited. Maybe it is I
who travels Time and Space in such stealth. Sounds to me
like the flux capicitor is behind all of this. If this came
standard in the 99 Grand Cherokee I wish someone had told
me when I bought it. Maybe I just got lucky , I would have
to immagine that's a feature Chrysler would have had me pay
a tidy sum for. I think I need to find the owners manual,
figure out how to use this thing, and get to exploiting
this for personal gain...creating ill gotten booty and such
(hmm Ill Gotten Booty...good name for a band). Maybe I
should use my newfound powers for evil! Yes!!!! I can see
it now! "Just when you thought it was safe to enter the
left lane....LOOK OUT...Time Speeder...Comming last summer
to a theater conveniently far from you "

Ok I feel much better about this now...I'm leaving...(he
walks out of the room in time with the melodic strains of
Joe Strummer and the Clash's I Faught the Law and the Law