~*Why Does It Hurt So Bad?*~
2001-08-20 02:42:50 (UTC)

A Nacho Letter

Here's a letter I wrote to Natalio, and I'm going to give
it to him when i see him on Tuesday:

Dear Natalio,
What I wanted to talk to you about was us. Or,
rather, the non-existent “us”. When you look at me, I see
something in your eyes that I’ve never seen from a guy
before. Now, I don’t know if it’s just me, but that’s how
it appears. What I wanted to ask was if it was real, like
I said, or just my mind and eyes and heart playing a cruel
joke on me. But the look that I saw in your eyes when I
had appeared out of nowhere at work said it all. I just
don’t know what to make of anything anymore. When we were
talking about us, you said that we should be friends just
for now. So then I thought that maybe, if I gave it some
time, we could pull through and be Natalio and Dana again.
But then when I was on my break and was sitting in the
dining room with you and you were talking to me, you said
something about being happy the way you were (being
single). So this is what I’m asking: I want to know if I
am hoping and waiting for something that isn’t going to
happen, hoping and waiting for us to be once again. Do you
think that if we hadn’t had this fight, we’d still be here,
and I wouldn’t be so upset, and the times that we hang up
from each other on the phone wouldn’t feel so completely
awkward? I really do understand everything you are going
through. I admire you so much because of it. Because of
your strength, determination, your passion to succeed, I
admire everything about you. I may not be able to relate
to anything, but I understand. I know that you also need a
best friend. You need someone to be there for you and to
love you no matter what. I want that more than anything
I’ve ever wanted. I just want you to know, that whatever
happens, happens. I’m here for you no matter what. I
will always love you. Yes, it’s hard. But isn’t life?
Just do it. That’s what it comes down to. Para ahora, mi
novio, adios, y te amo mucho.

I Love You Always,