Pandora's Book
2001-08-19 21:11:02 (UTC)


Aug 19, 2001

My parents have this knack for always making me feel like
crap. Nothing I ever do, even if I try is not even close to
being good enough. Im sorry Im not perfect Mom and Dad!  You
made me, and you raised me so if you dont like me its not my
fault! They make me feel so bad... I cant even express all
of my frustrations. I wish I could wirte down everything,
but I dont know where to begin. Its almost like they thrive
on my misery. I know dad does. Why? How can they be so
mean? I dont know. Everybody thinks they are superior
because they are so religious. Well, in my opinion you can
go to church every week, but if you arent a good person you
dont stand a chance. I think organized religion sucks. How
can one single religion be right? And how do we know which
one is which. I think everybosy should follow their own set
of beliefs and not conform just to fit into some kind of
mold! Others should respect that too, and not try to stuff
people into that mold. If people could accept and respect
differences than the world would have no problems (dealing
with wars etc.). I consider myself to be vrey open minded...
but then, Im sureevery minority has the same opinion of
themselves. I dunno, my life seems to get worse each day.
Its like Im being pulled in a thousand different directions
and am soon going to be ripped apart. I wish I had enough
courrage and strenghth to kill myself. But I dont. Im a
wimp. Well, actually, all the damb religion crap has pretty
much scared the crap out of me. Even though I dont want to
believe it, I still do. Brainwashed, Ive been brainwashed.
Im not happy, I dont want to live, but I dont want to die.
There is no compromise. Im scared shitless of the unknown.


If anybody ever wants to chat on ICQ look me up. Im always
looking for people to talk to.

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