thoughtless thoughts
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2001-08-19 06:35:40 (UTC)

Who am i?

Why do people keep online diaries? Here's my reason for
starting one. I keep things locked deep inside me and don't
let anyone know how i'm feeling. in my mind i have to deal
with things on my own, dont rely on others, count on
yourself and no one else. Its worked so far but i'm at a
point where i dont wanna be alone alone anymore. I want the
security of knowing that i CAN count on someone....that i
dont have to deal with things on my own any longer. I'm
finding that line difficult to cross. Those who've i began
to trust and let into my world didnt stay long. I guess
thats the difficult part, finding the person(s) who can be
truely counted on. Until then i will continue to hide
behind my smile and pretend everything is great. Meanwhile
i'm being torn in everywhich way inside. All these feelings
and emotions that beg to be let out must remain locked deep
inside me until i find someone who is willing to listen.
This diary will be my temporary solution. Will anyone
listen? Is anyone out there? tick tock..tick
long must i wait.

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