The Nine Faces of Dave
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2002-11-19 21:28:24 (UTC)

the poor girls wouldn't like me either

So I got my math midterm back the other day, and I had a 97%
on it. Now I'm feeling a whole lot better about myself. I
really needed that little boost from that test, especially
after all the dumb mistakes I made on the CS midterm. Now I
actually feel smart again.

My health has become worse since my last entry, and I think
it's directly attributable to eating too much, drinking too
much, and not getting enough exercise. I'm thinking I need
to do something about this, but it's really inconvenient to
go over to the gym when the weather is as cold as it is. So
instead I sit around and drink beer. I'll have to get back
to the "not eating" weight loss method.

I cleared a bunch of crap off my desk the other day, as part
of my general cleaning plan. I'm wanting to de-loft my bed,
because it really opens up the room around eye level, but it
is hard to say how feasible such an undertaking is, given my
roommate's current arrangement of stuff. We shall see what
can be done, I suppose.

Despite my recent math success, I'm not happy right now. My
deteriorating health and the state of my room don't help the
situation much, either.

I remember thinking at one point that I selected the wrong
college, that maybe I should have gone to one of Indiana's
fine state universities instead of a private university full
of rich kids from New York and various other places around
the eastern United States. Then I realized that I probably
wouldn't be any happier anyplace else.

So I guess I had some unrealistic expectations about the way
things would be at college. I guess I thought I'd be doing
better academically than I am, and I thought I would also be
doing better socially than I am. I guess I can't complain
too much about my social life, because it's a hell of a lot
better than it ever has been. But I'm still not happy with
the way things are.

I figured people would be cool, but I have met more than my
fair share of assholes around here. I think a whole lot of
people here need a serious shift in perspective, so they can
maybe understand the world view of someone who didn't grow
up in a rich Long Island neighborhood, who doesn't complain
because they don't like the car their parents gave them to
drive around, and who isn't Jewish.

The people I've had problems with have so much of the same
shit in common it's unbelievable. For starters, pretty much
all of them grew up in rich neighborhoods in either New York
City or some part of New England. Second, they all went to
either prep school or public school in a district where the
schools are actually well-funded. And finally, they're all
extremely unappreciative of whatever good fortune they have.

One guy, for instance, was wanting to get rear-ended by an
SUV so that the insurance policy on his (read: his parents')
car could be cashed in on the wreck and he could get a nicer
and newer car. This guy's a complete dickhead, plus he's a
fucking racist. The guy's Jewish and makes all manner of
racial slurs against Germans. Hey fuckhead, guess what, my
grandfather's family came from Germany.

People like him are the reason I had doubts about coming to
a private university. I'm having to deal with rich kids who
are used to having nice, new cars to drive (in New York, no
less), who are used to having clean, well-funded schools in
wealthy districts with no crime, and who are used to being
surrounded by the same kind of people.

Now I grew up in the industrial midwest, in a middle-class
family. I went to public school from fourth grade on, which
means that from the time I was nine, I was going to school
with rich kids, poor kids, smart kids, dumb kids, people of
every ethnic group you could think of, people who were nice,
people who were assholes, people who dealt drugs, people who
took drugs...pretty much every sort of person.

Being in public school in a poorly-managed and poorly-funded
district meant that I didn't have all these resources, like
computer science courses or math beyond calculus or toilets
in the john that actually flushed properly. Fortunately, I
was able to rely on my family, and so I did pretty well.

My family isn't rich by any means, but my parents did make
enough money to send me here (along with a decent chunk of
scholarship money). And I was fortunate enough that my dad
let me drive the Buick, but hell, I would have been grateful
to be able to drive the old pickup. So while I was happy to
be driving a 17-year-old GM sedan, some rich punk living on
Long Island or wherever was complaining to himself that he
didn't have some new fancy vehicle.

I guess the point is that some people around here need to be
able to understand other people's perspectives on life, and
maybe have the tact to not complain about not having a nice
car in front of someone who's happy just to have a car.

I guess it's true that I wouldn't have to deal with people
like that if I'd gone to IU or Purdue or Ball State, but I'd
have to deal with people who are equally hard to take, just
in different ways. So I don't know that I'd be better off
anyplace else.

Really, I was hoping that college would be a better place to
meet women than it has been. I've met a number of extremely
attractive girls here, but so far haven't had any luck with
getting dates or anything.

So I guess if I want to be at all happy here, I'm going to
need to lose about 25 pounds, because that's the only way I
can see any woman finding me at all attractive.

This is Dave, signing off to figure out ways to avoid eating
and yet not waste the meal plan.