xBaByGiRLx

The Communist Corner
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2002-11-19 10:06:39 (UTC)

Rough Life

*11/19/02*
~Kevin's birthday~

Well, the past few weeks haven't really been all that
dandy. Kevin's pissed off about this whole me and Nic
thing, and he says that Nic is obsessed over me, which I
think Kevin shouldn't be talking because he admits to
being obsessed over me *Kevin does*. Been gettin into
fights. Not pretty..not really at all. Really ugly
actually. Didn't talk to him for a week, was the longest
one. I'm still kind of pissed off at Kevin. I mean, Nic's
right, everywhere Kevin is dissing on Nic, or threating
him. Nic doesn't give a shit, I don't think at least. He
says that he's trying to ignore it, but it's really hard,
when everywhere Kevin is doing that. On people's
guestbooks on his information.... I feel fucking bad
though. It's Kevin's birthday. About a week ago, I thought
his birthday was going to pass and I was still going to be
super pissed at him... I would of still sent him like an
ecard or something, but still. I think Kevin's lucky that
I'm still even talking to him. And I know that theres
more he has to say about Nic. He just doesn't wanna say
it, cause he knows I'll get mad, and all that other shit.
Plus he's been the reason a couple of my other boyfriend's
and I have broken up... or they've dumped me... and I
don't think Kevin wants to do that for my sake. I think he
knows I'll be pissed at him if that happens again,
especially with Nic. Enough about Kevin.. I'm gettin
really confused....
~
Lately, things with Nic aren't that great either.
Recently, I've been thinking I've been a horrible
girlfriend to Nicholas. He says that I'm a great
girlfriend, but just 2 certain things that weren't very
nice, that I should of thought about before I said it out
loud. But for some reason, I think, I feel like there's
more to that. I hurt him a lot. I don't mean to either.
Makes me wonder... if I *really* am a bad girlfriend. And
if I am, why he puts up with me. But I don't know anymore.
~
I don't know a lot of stuff anymore. I've thought this
shit before, who hasn't. But what is the point of school?
Seriously. I want the absolute truth. People say "because
without education you won't be able to get nowhere in your
life" I don't think that really true. I mean, yeah, you
need certain things from college or a high school thing to
get certain jobs... to get a lot of jobs, but who really
wants to be those things? Obviously not fucking me. Plus,
the thing that really gets to me. Is why the fuck we have
History class! No one really fucking cares what happend
thousands and hundreds years ago. Its the past, it
happend, live with it. Yeah, it might of "changed" from
what something could of happend, that could have been
better for us now.. but shit, we can't change the past.
***
Life fucking sucks. But like everything else in my life, I
guess I'll have to deal with it. Just say "fuck you" and
move on. If only I could say that to my Humanities
teacher!! Life would be better.


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