2001-08-18 16:34:39 (UTC)

August 18th......

Well, last nite was MEET THE BRAVES....it feels so
different knowing that I'm not out there cheering anymore.
In some ways I missed it, but then when I really thought
about it....NAW, I don't miss that shit!.....LOL....Anyway,
I guess me and Travis are really talking now. I let him
drive the Honda! Man, I always told myself that I would
never let another nigga drive my car. He doesn't have me
foolish or anything...it's just that I always drive his car
when he's tired of driving, so that's why I let him drive
mine. I can see myself being in a relationship with him
now. I mean, I don't think there will be much physical
contact involved, but I see us being together. I guess I've
just been longing for a relationship and now here's my
chance to be in one. I know it's the talk of the school
though. People aren't really acting shocked about it, but
they are looking really hard. I don't know though. From
where I'm at now to looking in the future....I don't see
myself loving him, but I may be wrong about it. I'm
seriously a hopeless romantic. If me and Travis do get
serious, then I don't know what role Leroy coming back into
town would play. I've anaylzed my love for Leroy. I know
that sounds ridiculous, but I gave it some thought. Okay,
it's like this....the love I had for Leroy was from a GIRL,
not a WOMAN. I was young and didn't know how to handle what
I felt for Leroy. I used my mind more to love him than I
did my heart. I will still say that he is my first love,
but when asked to break it down, then that's the
answer....I loved him when I was a girl, thinking with a
girl's heart and mind. As for who I might love at first
being a woman...then it's hard to say.

For those out there who are reading this, then I know yall
think I'm all drama-queen or what not....I'm so
sorry....I'm really a deep thinker and break a lot of stuff
down. I tend to make a big deal about the smallest
things...I know....but that's just me.

Last nite, I saw G. Riley.(He's this boy who graduated in
2000, he goes to Georgetown and plays bball there.) Well, I
saw him and he looked like he wanted to come talk to me,
but Travis was with me. When I was walking to the car,
Travis stopped to talk to someone and G. was across the
street and he started walking to the side I was on. He
didn't make it in time though cause Travis soon caught up
with me. G. is a mess! He is engaged to this girl,
well..woman. I don't know why he keeps trying to get at me.
I've told him on so many accounts that I don't want to talk
to him. That boy still tries to holla at me. I just think
he's like that because I'm the female he never got. WHAT

Well, I got some things to do, so I will write more