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slow dancing on my babies shoes in the middle of the room with nothing but love
this weekend was one of the best ive ever had.
it was fucking amazing.
i am so in love.
and so very happy.
my tummy hurts. grease is not good. blah.
i feel like emily.
i have a meeting in about 2 hours. im not looking forward
i am sleepy.
MY NEW PHONE CAME!!!!
its so very cool.
its blue. i like it. a whole whole whole whole lot lot lot
so in love.
so theyre voting on whether or not sexual orientation
should be included in equal opportunity laws in florida
weve come so far.
i really hope it turns out for the best.
its all about the love man. =)
and trees. heh.
i danced on her shoes. =)
i danced with her.
with her FAMILY there.
i really am. touched.
when i was younger.
jennifer wouldnt dance with me. crying all night in
hallways and shit.
feeling completly and utterly unwelcomed and unloved.
but no. i mean.
it wasnt even like considered really.
pictures with her family.
dancing with the person i am so in love with.
and it wasnt even fucking. considered.
it didnt cross my mind at all until someone said something.
i dont get it.
ive fought for so much and belived in shit for so long.
but i have never really realized i guess like hey
this applies to me.
i dont know.
ive just never.
been so in love.
why cant i make babies.
i love her.
its about the love right.
sex is an expression or love.
and it brings babies.
why cant our love.
im never going to be able to look at a little girl or boy
and be like hey hey look this child is an expression of my
i guess i will be able to.
but i mean.
its like...her and i. pieces of us. put together. to make
but i suppose. its more than that. its what you put into
the person. besides genetics. you know. its the other
stuff more so than anything.
i just wish sometimes.
that it didnt make me so sad.
to have such an awesome weekend.
and go to such an awesome wedding.
and be involved in such amazing activites.
the whole process. you know.
and know in the back of my mind.
that i will never really have that.
i know my family.
and i know how it will be.
its so strange.
never in the whole wedding thing this weekend
was anyone like HEY HEY its so great that theyre a boy and
it was more HEY HEY its so great that theyre so in love.
why is it such a big deal.
why is it such a problem.
if i dont even realize it half the time.
or consider it.
or think about it.
i love her.
she loves me.
its about the love man.
isnt that what its about?
so why the fuck.
cant I have a happy fucking little wedding with my family
and her family and have babies and fucking even hold her
hand without people looking at us like were fucking freaks.
its never really bothered me as much as this is bothering
me at this moment.
i never had a reason to think about this, or care about
and now im a bit pissed off.
anyone that knows us at all.
knows the kind of love we have.
i just dont understand this stupid society.
i dont understand how they justify hating love.
it just seems so much like a oxymoron to me.
i bet more than half of the population even comprehends
what love is.
im mad and stopping now.