Diary of Stuff (Volume I)
2002-11-18 17:00:36 (UTC)

Conjecture Jecture

Took a hiatus...Mental notes--

1. Monitor blew up, now at [email protected], with screen
taking up about 80% of viewable area, certain that dotpitch
is 39 or above....Crappy indeed, just another addition to
my hellhole visual, with my piles and piles of bills,
notebooks, textbooks, job applications, music CD's, etc.
etc. etc.... Organization would definitely be the key to
my success, but I have many interests, and like to move
among them flittingly, touching this and that, adding to
its dimension of importance and relevance.

2. Took the time to think, and generally found that I have
the habit of impressing myself into my surroundings....I
feel the objects of my environment, as if they were a part
of my 'self'...if I had telekinetic powers, I would be
moving them up and around the empty spaces, causing a
ruckus among differing flying objects, being careful as to
not contain too many collisions. When it is people who are
within my sphere of influence, I often take note of their
reactions to certain cues, and seek further to 'fine tune'
my assessment of them... Habit...need..what the hell is up
with me, then, where I have to exercise control over my
external environment...? Is this just merely a source of
enjoyment? Exercising control over random elements such as
people, or totally predictable elements such as numbers, or
the half-in, half-out state of connoting words...these are
what I do with my external world,.... but to what end? I
know not... Art for art's sake, I suppose, because they
are there.... If an object, or a person, or an idea,
refuses to be led by me, then, I grudgingly let go, and try
to move onto other areas, such as my future--because my
present is stubborn, and my past cannot be touched.

3. Organization means closure, disorganization means the
possibilities are limitless...