Katherine

Kat Eyes
2002-11-18 01:04:18 (UTC)

november 15, 2002

dammit....my computer randomly restarted itself and i was
on a roll with what i was typing. oh well. i had such a
shitty day today. first, everything possible went wrong in
yearbook. our section was due today, and we were not
finished at all. ana and vicky weren't done with their
stories, they didn't have pictures, our mugs weren't paged
and positioned, joe had no pictures, the names i typed
onto the disks were off by 2 names. iot was horrible. i
managed to get out of first and second period so that i
could work on things. but i couldn't get out of any other
classes. i missed bio, which i'm not doing good in at all.
and i missed spanish, which is generally pretty easy. but i
worked my ass off, along with our other members, and we got
very little accomplished. we did get stuff done , but not
as much as we wanted. and on top of that i had to work
today. margit is throwing a party for ali and she invited
everyone at the shop. she said that josh could give
bridgette and i rides to upland, where she lives now. and
dad went to vegas for the weekend, so i didn't have his
back up. and grandma and grandpa flipped out. i mean i've
nevere seen them this freaked out since the halloween
party. come to think of it...this only happens with them
and parties. and i know they love me, and i know they care.
but grandma repeats herself over and over again. and i know
exactly what shes trying to do. shes trying to get me to
not go, w/o her actually teling me to not go. and i did
exactly what she wanted me to. i gave in. i'm tired of
hearing her bitch about it. ever since i've been home,
thats all i've heard. she came up with all these wild,
crazy ideas. like what happens if my ride gets drunk. or if
everyone gets drunk. or if we're on the freeway...we'll
wreck. or what if he doesnt bring me home on time. i was
about to rip all my damn hair out. it's like jesus christ,
let me live my own life. she also said "you're 15, not 20"
and i know i'm not really old, but i'm almost 16. i'm not
going to be little forever. you have to give me some
breathing room, and shes suffocaing me. she says that its
a bad thing for mothers to be best friends with their
daughters, b/c they'll be wrecks when their daughters move
away. well, thats what shes doing to me. and shes driving
me up the a-wall! i know she cares. that's painfully
obvious. but is there such a thing as caring too much? she
should have just told me what she thought about the party,
and left it at that. and she shouldn't have been going on
and on and on about it. she shouldn't have even put her
opinions whre they're not wanted. i didn't ask her for
permission to go to the party..she's not my father and she
doesn't have that right. but as soon as we got home she
told grandpa about this party and planeted her little seed
ideas into his head. and hes bad enought oo. not in the
same sense grandma is though. he still thinks i'm 10.
grandma was doing my laundry the other day, and she dropped
a pair of my black panties (they're the bikini style
kind..you know what i mean) and he picked them up and hes
like "she's wearing these?" liek they were edible underwear
or something. they could have been the string thongs. then
i'm sure his opinion would have changed about me. but
that's besides the point. i didn't really want to go to the
party, but margit invited me, and bridgete would be going,
so i might as well go and margit wouldn't be mad or be
insulted. and there'd be free food. and li is a really cool
guy, and i don't want him to think i'm shunning him or
something. but grandma is up my ass about this damn party,
that its not worth listening to it. i would rather her shut
up about it and me not go, then to hear about it for 2
months and go and not even want to be there. i'd rather go
out with jordan, but i called him, and no ones answering,
and i didnt talk to him today.i dont know whats going on
with "us". last saturday i gopt the major hint that he
likes me (maybe b/c he told me) but hes acting like he
doesnt know me at school. its like helllllllloooooo! i may
be at the lower end of the mhs social ladder, but i am not
he fucking bottom rung here. show respect...darn it!well,
anyways, we'll see what happns now. i'm gonna go take a
shower, but i'll be back to write about the rest of the sh!
t that went down this week...b/c theres much more.




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