headtension

Relives Headtension
2002-11-17 06:35:50 (UTC)

dust in the wind

the first time i saw him i knew he would be a BIG part of
my life.. i was in 8th grade...i was talking to the guy
behind him and when i looked over i saw these to little
eyes peaking at me from under a head of hair.. he had his
head on the table and as soon as i saw him and turned away
real quick.. i can replay that in my head a million times.
He played hard to get.. i knew the first time i saw him..
he was gonna be the first person i had sex with.. For some
reason our friendship was rocking.. and i think becuase we
both though we would end up with each other. We shoudl of
ended with each other.. but not as lovers.. as life boats.
I always thoght we had the werid way of realting on such
oppsite levels. WE would go months with talking and then
be best friends... Anything that disfuctional should never
be separted... His older brother ended dating my older
sister and after time had a child togther.. the most perfect child in
the world.. A girl that was beautiful it was like she was born
knowing her life would be hard and had accepted it the day she
born.... Before our sibling ended up bareing a child thought.. he
took my virginty.. i was with a guy at the time.. i relised that i
wanted to have to sex.. but not with the guy i was with... i broke up
with my boyfriend and when to my friends room for sex.. Again we did
not talk to each other for months. Both of us were to werid out.. but
we ended up being friends again..over the course of our friendship we
prolly stopped talking about a million times.. I loved him for
beinging like a brother.. i loved him for beining my roots... i could
lose myself and find myself once again with his help.. i think in one
point in time we loved each other enough to have a reletionship with
the other person.. but for each of us it was at the wrong time..

Years later when he had moved to a differnt state we kept in touch..
one day he just talking to me again.. I had a lot of stuff going on
and i didnt think about why i hadn't heard from him.. one day he told
me he could nevertalk to me again.. never quite explainging why... he
had a girlfriend was about to have his baby.. and i said some pretty
mean things to him after he told me that.. He was my ground and with
that my footing was gone.... i have never heard from again... but i
still to this day hope.. we can once again start talking....